Anybody feel like this?

[Marshmellow]

Just wondering if anybody else experienced this ? Now I'm wondering if Im not BPD too. Any replies are greatly appreciated...

After breaking things off with EXBPD BF has  anybody else feel awful depression? My therapist told me I had PTSD ... I can't move past this... I'm trying hard! I feel stuck... Just like I felt he was stuck emotionally...

We only dated 7 mos... and I broke things off in Sept. with him BF when I got emotionally exhausted with his sudden rage "episodes"

finding out abt betrayals, lies, and verbal assaults. Later he would apologize... profusely... then go right back to blaming again for the same thing...

It was truly emotional and verbal abuse. I had some other personal issues going on with family, and couldn't take the emotional yo yo garbage anymore, and was exhausted.

Either things were magical... or crazy !

At first meeting, I would have never guessed this man had issues, or would go to extremes the way he did, over nothing... ( trivial stuff)

He scared me at times, with explosive raging, and I couldn't just walk  away as I was in Rochester New York ( long distance relationship) staying at his home.

I still feel like Im on a roller coaster ... but very sad... I'm mad I let myself get fooled and sucked in... He was back on the dating site a few days later, texted me and says he is how happy is... Sometimes I just bust out in crying spells... Is this normal?

Thx

[juniorswailing]

I had four months and never thought I'd ever be in the place I ended up in.

Thankfully I found this site  and knew what to do.

You are not alone, read as much as you can.

We are here for you when you want.

[Itstopsnow]

It's very normal what you are feeling. I was with my ex 18 months . And my relationship mirrors what you went through. It's so hard to get past that the guy we fell for wasn't at all the guy he presented himself to be. They are very sick. My ex was cheating on me all summer! I never thought he would! He did verbally abuse me, but acted like I was the most beautiful girl he could get. And he was super attractive and affectionate to me, we always had fun together when he wasn't in a bad mood or annoyed at me.  but I guess that is how they are to everyone . I'm still in shock at times. I found out all the lies and cheating in November. We broke up in August but we're still hooking up all of September and October. It is like PSTD, they abused and manipulated and lied to us. It's traumatic to realize the whole relationship was a facade and basically we all were in toxic emotionally abusive relationships! And that's if we are lucky and they didn't start any physical abuse

[GreenEyedMonster]

Yes, you'll find plenty of people here who empathize with you.

I was emotionally exhausted from having absolutely no ability to address places in our relationship that my needs were not being met.  For the first three months or so it was small annoying things that I could just let go, for the most part.  But when my ex went on a vacation without me (he could have taken me along, but just didn't) that involved staying in a cozy cabin in the woods with some other single women, I really felt like we needed to talk.  Every time I'd bring it up, he'd just get defensive and say that he had it planned long before he met me.  In that last month, I lost ten pounds and my hair started falling out, because the situation felt so beyond my control.  I essentially sabotaged or blew up the relationship with a fight.  Now I miss him like crazy, and it's been almost four months since he broke up with me.

I disagree that relationships like this were a "facade," but I do think pwBPD are equally deluded when they idealize us as when they devalue us.  I was not the person my pwBPD imagined me to be, either.  In his mind, he made me into what he NEEDED because he was so lonely.  Unfortunately, he NEEDED a person who would tolerate things that the real me just couldn't.

[C.Stein]

After breaking things off with EXBPD BF has  anybody else feel awful depression? My therapist told me I had PTSD ... I can't move past this... I'm trying hard! I feel stuck...

Most certainly yes.  I have been depressed the entire year and I got discarded for good about 4 months ago.  The severe depression set in about 2 months after the discard and it essentially incapacitated me.  I had constant tears in my eyes for at least 6 weeks.  Now it is down to frequent on a daily basis.  I think I was/am also experiencing some PTSD, although I self-diagnosed.  It has gotten better but it is still a major struggle. 

Unfortunately, he NEEDED a person who would tolerate things that the real me just couldn't.

Hmmm.  I told my ex on the day of our last blow out that I couldn't be the man she needed me to be.  Told her she needs a lapdog, someone who is willing to keep coming back for more when she hurts/abuses them.  I asked her how many times do I have to stick my hand into the fire before there is nothing left to burn.  As usual she just sat there.