Tryin to recycle

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Thos of you who have read my posts know I was going to my attorney. Which I did and a letter is being sent to my uBPDbf for his atty. to contact mine. Meanwhile he's back at the how sorry he is, we should do couples counseling etc. How do I just say I can't anymore I don't have it in me? I know that as soon as the letter arrives or I say it first he will flip right back to threats, smearing me etc. He has already done all of these and even in the past week.

This decision has taken such a toll on me I'm even physically sick (head cold).

[FigureIt]

Thos of you who have read my posts know I was going to my attorney. Which I did and a letter is being sent to my uBPDbf for his atty. to contact mine. Meanwhile he's back at the how sorry he is, we should do couples counseling etc. How do I just say I can't anymore I don't have it in me? I know that as soon as the letter arrives or I say it first he will flip right back to threats, smearing me etc. He has already done all of these and even in the past week.

This decision has taken such a toll on me I'm even physically sick (head cold).

[JayApril]

I am so sorry about your head cold and situation in general. I have been in a similar situation before with my exBPD. It is all about how you feel, and what you believe is right for your well being. Preserve your sanity first. The best way to end things is to just be honest and do it. Do not be afraid of the smear campaign or butterstorm it does get better. It's not worth your sanity. Most of the time when a recycle attempt comes they are at a low point in their personal life and are seeking validation from anyone. They are starting to remember how goid you were to them and want to feel that again because, they are not being temporarily validated in some other part of their life. It is about their need not yours. 

[Joem678]

Hi there figureit,

Jay is correct.  It is about you being emotionally healthy and strong.  What worries you the most the fear of the response? The guilt?  Both?

[FigureIt]

Joem678, I gu as I fear both. I have a D(10) that lives with us (not his). I have spoken with her about it all. Tonight I had to have her ask him to make her dinner cuz I have a 101.6 fever and I don't want her to get sick. He did feed her and I said thank you but he has this attitude. I'm just so wiped out I just can't deal.

I know he's gonna think I led him on. I tried telling him Friday night and he just didn't want to hear it and wanted me to agree to try. Because I was sick then and just couldn't talk anymore I just said okay. Because this sickness is just wiping me out I haven't addressed it since.