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Samuel S.
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« on: December 10, 2015, 08:50:14 PM » |
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I am a very giving guy who cares, loves, and will bend over backwards to help my BPDw, my other family members, my friends, and my students. So, while all of this is true, there has been one situation of the past, about a year ago, that my BPDw and a fellow employee did which was so hateful, that I am still very hurt. A fellow employee jokingly and falsely claimed he saw me with "another woman". My BPDw then laughed and said that it was "probably a good idea, because she is so busy". My BPDw laughed as she told me. I eventually confronted both of them, and they both have apologized. Nevertheless, my BPDw continues with her BPD patterns, like how so many of us have unfortunately experienced and have tried to work with as well as we can.
My BPDw works a full day, and it is now the 2nd time that she has needed to pick up some things from this fellow employee that she needs for her place of employment. Both times that she has needed to pick up things from him, I have been available to do so for her. Nevertheless, I have not offered to do so, and she has not asked me to do so, because I would refuse to do so.
Again, the hurt I feel even though they both have apologized is very significant. I struggle not only with not being helpful, but I also struggle with forgiving them.
A side note: I usually am a very forgiving person, both personally and professionally; nevertheless, I can't let this situation go. On the positive side of it, seeing that she has not asked me to pick up things there, I guess it shows that she is finally being somewhat sensitive and understanding of the intense hurt that I feel. As for anything else that she may want or need, I will do it, but not help her in this regard.
So, 2 things I ask of you. Are you able to get over your hurt and maybe even forgive? How do you feel about my situation? Thank you for any input you may wish to share!
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