7 months out NC

[coldmist]

It's been 9 months since my exgf cut and ran and 7 months since the stalking stopped. I've since been replaced and there has been no contact between us. To those of you going through the early months of hell after being discarded and replaced, it gradually gets easier as time goes on. Detachment is a slow process. I still think about her and even miss her good aspects sometimes but it doesn't hurt anymore. I know I'm so much better without her now.

[blackbirdsong]

It's been 9 months since my exgf cut and ran and 7 months since the stalking stopped. I've since been replaced and there has been no contact between us. To those of you going through the early months of hell after being discarded and replaced, it gradually gets easier as time goes on. Detachment is a slow process. I still think about her and even miss her good aspects sometimes but it doesn't hurt anymore. I know I'm so much better without her now.

How did you know that she is stalking you? Any example?

[coldmist]

How did you know that she is stalking you? Any example?

We lived in the same apartment complex and I caught her numerous times peeking around a corner watching me when I was coming and going in the parking lot. I followed my therapist's advice by ignoring it and just went about my business even though it was causing me anxiety and paranoia.

Facebook stalking and mock updates happened for a while too. Admittedly, I let that go on for too long as I should have just blocked her earlier on.

[hopealways]

Bravo Coldmist, I am 5 months NC and I still do think of her all the time although it does get better I agree.  After how long did your pain stop?

[shatra]

Coldmist wrote

Facebook stalking and mock updates happened for a while too.

----How can u tell she was fbook stalking you?

----WHen you say mock updates, do u mean she posted mock updates (to try to trigger you or get your attention)?

[coldmist]

Bravo Coldmist, I am 5 months NC and I still do think of her all the time although it does get better I agree.  After how long did your pain stop?

I think it was around 5 or 6 months. I got a new job at that time and put a lot of my focus on work.

[coldmist]

Coldmist wrote

Facebook stalking and mock updates happened for a while too.

----How can u tell she was fbook stalking you?

----WHen you say mock updates, do u mean she posted mock updates (to try to trigger you or get your attention)?

The mock updates are what gave it away. She also blocked a mutual friend for no reason (neither him nor me have any clue why) but I was never blocked, I assume so she could still look.

She would post about similar things after I did. It was very childlike mocking. I think it was more her just reacting than trying to get my attention. Her emotional responses were often like how a little kid would behave.

[shatra]

coldmist wrote

The mock updates are what gave it away. She also blocked a mutual friend for no reason (neither him nor me have any clue why) but I was never blocked, I assume so she could still look.

----Yes so she can still look at yours.  Maybe she was "devaluing" the mutual friend?  Or pushing them away in push-pull?  THey push friends away, not just parnters.

She would post about similar things after I did. It was very childlike mocking. I think it was more her just reacting than trying to get my attention.

-----Yes, or could be "mirroring" you or trying to have a connection with you by copying you.