Hi BPD-Dad-67,
I just wanted to commiserate with you and let you know that you are definetly not alone.My dd is now 21yo but I remember those awful teenage years just like it was yesterday.
BPD certainly takes its toll on all our lives.The extremes of behaviour are certainly difficult to deal with. All I can say is try to chose your battles with your dd and try not to get sucked into the drama she creates. It took me a while to realise that there was a pattern to my dd's behaviour. She would purposely stir up drama and arguments so she could justify herself in walking out of our home to meet up with friends or boys. She has since moved out and we now have a LC r/s but I believe what has helped our r/s when it comes to communication has been the use boundaries, S.E.T statements and Validation. Validating my dds feelings make her more open to listening so I can begin to have a conversation with her. Using validation takes time and a whole lot of patience but I have had some success with it.
It is a lot to take in at first and seems like learning a whole different language but dont be put off.Learn it your own pace. Take a breather and come back to it when you are ready if you like. You say you feel spent and you may not want to know even 1 more thing about BPD atm and that is ok too. I felt like that for a while and most of us parents on here probably have at one time or another.
When you feel up to it the tools on the right are a great place to start if you havent read them already.
Also remember that it is important to look after yourself. Rome wasnt built in a day so change will be a slow process.
Looking after your own mental health right now has to be a priority. You have to get yourself right first if you are to help your dd effectively.