What values did your ex bring to your life?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I had a brief relationship so yes, I experienced a lot of attraction, things went unimaginably well for a month. Maybe he even loved me in his own way. But thinking about values, I don't see much beyond that personal "I love you, you are the best thing that ever happened to me" attraction. I didn't see integrity. And I know that people with integrity change in time as well. But I'm thinking and failing to see examples where my ex partner walked his talk in anything. So, I'm curious. What values did they bring to your life (so maybe I can learn to see them in my relationship, too)?

[thisworld]

I had a brief relationship so yes, I experienced a lot of attraction, things went unimaginably well for a month. Maybe he even loved me in his own way. But thinking about values, I don't see much beyond that personal "I love you, you are the best thing that ever happened to me" attraction. I didn't see integrity. And I know that people with integrity change in time as well. But I'm thinking and failing to see examples where my ex partner walked his talk in anything. So, I'm curious. What values did they bring to your life (so maybe I can learn to see them in my relationship, too)?

[Confused?]

The only values you learn from pwBPD are your own values.

[Itstopsnow]

You see they can talk the talk but can't walk the walk. They live their lives very superficially. They may claim to have core values, morals and a belief system. But does that match when they devalue you, or when they are cheating, lying , or manipulating. Or when one of their vices flare up. Like gambling or drinking. The have no core self identity. So what values could they possibly have on a long term basis . It can't happen with BPD. They have no stable sense of self.

[Lonely_Astro]

What values did they bring to your life (so maybe I can learn to see them in my relationship, too)?

The values you saw in your ex pwBPD were your values. 

It's just that simple.  It's called "mirroring".

[hopealways]

None whatsoever. She had no values and definitely ZERO integrity. Her words meant nothing.

[once removed]

modesty.

i dont mean a person who doesnt ever dress cute or sexy. the attitude is something ive always appreciated in a partner, and its, from everything i can tell, a consistent value in my ex; she reinforced my appreciation of this value.