Hi everyone!
I just wanted to say how thankful I am for this forum. I have been educating myself for the past year on BPD. However, finding people who have walked in my shoes and have hurt the same way I have, has made a wonderful difference to me. I know the pain comes and goes, sometimes it knocks me down... .However, right now, I am feeling a bit better. My familiar black cloud has moved to the side and I am being rejuvenated by the sun. I am aware I may not always feel this way, but while I do, I wanted to share something encouraging... .
A week ago I was laying down on my floor crying. Today, I smiled at my best friend and played barbie with a 6 year old. I haven't cried since the day I was on the floor. Today, I wasn't sad that I wasn't with my exBPD for Christmas; I didn't even care. Even if the black cloud comes back, I will remember that IT WILL LEAVE AGAIN. Don't ever believe you are stuck in whatever hole you are in now; sunny days will come. Just like the seasons change, so do our circumstances. We may cry and crawl tonight or next week, but one day, whether it's yesterday or in a few days, we will smile and walk again. Stay strong and have hope! It is only during the times that we DON'T have hope do we convince ourselves that things won't change. Nothing in this life is permanent, that includes our sorrows. I listen to a certain song frequently to help me. I sing it as if I am singing it to myself... .It helps me to believe that I am taking steps forward and that I love myself. Loving myself allows me to detach and only accept the type of love that I know I deserve. Remember to ALWAYS LOVE YOURSELF!
Please read/listen and enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91iXRMkmFbs"Keep Your Eyes Open"
If you could soldier on
Headstrong into the storm
I’ll be here waiting on the other side
Don’t look back
The road is long
The first days of the war are gone
Take back your former throne and turn the tide
Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown till you
Keep your eyes open, my love
So tell me you’re strong, tell me you see
I need to hear it, can you promise me to
Keep your eyes open, my love
Just past the circumstance
The first light, a second chance
No child could ever dance the way you do, oh
Tear down the prison walls
Don’t start the curtain call
Your chains will never fall until you do
Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown till you
Keep your eyes open, my love
So show me your fire, show me your heart
You know I’ll never let you fall apart if you
Keep your eyes open, my love
Open up
Open up
Open up your eyes
The weight is unbroken
Open up
Open up
Open up your eyes
Keep your eyes open
Don’t let the night become the day
Don’t take the darkness to the grave
I know pain is just a place
The will has been broken
Don’t let the fear become the hate
Don’t take the sadness to the grave
I know the fight is on the way
When the sides have been chosen
Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown
Open up your eyes
Keep your eyes open
So tell me you’re strong, tell me you see
I need to hear it, can you promise me to
Keep your eyes open, my love
So show me your fire, show me your heart
You know I’ll never let you fall apart if you
Keep your eyes open, my love
Keep your eyes (Keep your eyes open)
