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BPD ex Contacts Me
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Topic: BPD ex Contacts Me (Read 536 times)
rosesarered777
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 154
BPD ex Contacts Me
«
on:
December 26, 2015, 09:18:18 PM »
Wished me a merry Christmas. I said I hoped she got everything she wanted. She left October 23rd and reconnected today, December 26th.
Now she wants to add me on her pet's account. Does she want to reconnect even though she now lives 2 hours away?
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
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Dad to my wolf pack
Re: BPD ex Contacts Me
«
Reply #1 on:
December 27, 2015, 12:09:13 AM »
Distance and time may have lessened her triggers concerning you. The connection she wants to keep is about her feelings. The connection you want to keep are about yours. What are
your
feelings here?
Did she respond when you said what you did?
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“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
rosesarered777
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 154
Re: BPD ex Contacts Me
«
Reply #2 on:
December 27, 2015, 12:15:42 AM »
My feelings are that I still like-like her and she claims she will re-add me on Facebook. Claims that she missed speaking to me, doesn't hate me as a person but hates what I did (? -- I treated her with respect and care). She says she will give me her phone number eventually but did not add me on Facebook and who knows if I can trust that she will give me her new phone number?
She sought me out. I was surprised that she contacted me after saying she would never reach out after and keep me blocked forever.
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MapleBob
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 724
Re: BPD ex Contacts Me
«
Reply #3 on:
December 27, 2015, 12:24:07 AM »
Have you been in contact at all since October? Pretty much exactly two months of NC plus a sentimental holiday means that she's at least still thinking about you, probably missing you, probably wondering where you're at and what your status is at least. Her motivations are pretty unclear, though, so proceed with caution. She could just be looking for attention.
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rosesarered777
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 154
Re: BPD ex Contacts Me
«
Reply #4 on:
December 27, 2015, 07:08:50 AM »
I reached out to her twice wishing her a Merry Xmas and talking about us. As I expected, it must have got her thinking about the past because she blocked me immediately after on a dating website. She enjoyed my company and I would presume thinks weren't going as planned for her.
Last night she said she wanted to try again but "build our foundations", so try not to go so fast as we did when we first met.
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livednlearned
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 12866
Re: BPD ex Contacts Me
«
Reply #5 on:
December 27, 2015, 01:36:02 PM »
Quote from: rosesarered777 on December 27, 2015, 07:08:50 AM
Last night she said she wanted to try again but "build our foundations", so try not to go so fast as we did when we first met.
What are your thoughts on how to do this? When you first met, how did things go -- it sounds like it may have felt like engulfment to her. What would need to change?
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Breathe.
rosesarered777
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 154
Re: BPD ex Contacts Me
«
Reply #6 on:
December 27, 2015, 01:46:01 PM »
She suggested we need a counselor. I suggested a communications therapist.
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MapleBob
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 724
Re: BPD ex Contacts Me
«
Reply #7 on:
December 27, 2015, 02:20:59 PM »
Quote from: rosesarered777 on December 27, 2015, 01:46:01 PM
She suggested we need a counselor. I suggested a communications therapist.
I'd recommend going very slowly - and if you're strong enough, make it ALL about your responsibility at first, and dovetail into hers. If it gets too real too fast she might bail again. But her suggesting counseling is *very* positive.
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rosesarered777
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 154
Re: BPD ex Contacts Me
«
Reply #8 on:
December 28, 2015, 02:26:33 PM »
She asked me if I cared about her right after saying she "knew" I didn't care about anyone else. I told her that I definitely cared about her and that probably made her feel more relaxed. Today she was asking what I was thinking about after we agreed to meet up and hangout in a few weeks time. She has no luck replacing me and I informed her that she didn't have much luck replacing me... which she could only say "meh" to.
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