Looking for an attorney referral in Saint George Utah

[ttomsen]

I will be divorcing my BPD wife. I could use a referral for an attorney that is versed in personality disorders (BPD/NPD) and high conflict divorce with custody.

Thanks in advance.

[ForeverDad]

Bill Eddy, author of Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with a Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, also has HighConflictInstitute.com which is based in southern CA but I believe at least one partner is from Utah.  Perhaps contact them?  Also, others have commented AVVO.COM is helpful.

The best way to get a knowledgeable and proactive lawyer is to compile what appears to be a good local list and then start getting some legal consultations to narrow your list.  Are your questions answered?  Are solid strategies suggested?

The reality is that while most divorces do end in some level of settlement, you need more than a forms filer and hand holder.  On the other hand, it will never go as easily and simply as strategized.  Most of our cases take more than a year, many about two years, usually due to custody and parenting complications.  What age groups are the children, if any?

[livednlearned]

Sometimes the key words "parental alienation" and "high conflict divorce" will help you find lawyers who have the experience you're looking for.

I agree with ForeverDad that it's good to get multiple legal consultations. These can cost a few hundred dollars an hour depending on where you live, but you want to be as sure as possible that you have the right lawyer.

It helps to write in advance what your goals/objectives are, and then ask the lawyers to clarify a strategy to reach those goals, plus ask them to estimate how much it will cost. Goals might include things like: primary custody of the kids, decision-making over major medical/educational, shared legal, and 50/50 visitation. Ask them how they have handled similar cases in the past, and how they would handle different likely scenarios you anticipate, like not complying with court orders, stonewalling.

Strategies might include how they will approach mediation, whether to use custody evaluations, coparenting therapy, parenting coordinators, depositions, psychiatric evaluations, etc.

I found it very useful to have a lawyer skilled in litigation -- not all lawyers are competent in court.