SS15 getting stronger

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

SS15 is visiting his uBPDm this week, and for the first time since DH has had custody, he has kept his phone

and responds to our texts and FB posts, and even initiates texts.

After his last visit, he texted uBPDm that he had decided to live with us permanently - previously he had told

her he'd stay for a year and then move back (to ward off the inevitable, we're guessing). We live two states

away, so he visits 3 - 4 times per year, depending on the year and whether she sets up the visitation.

When he was with her in the summer of 2014 for three weeks, we had no contact unless SS20 texted.  Then

it was very strange, and SS20 told us uBPDm was actually texting back, not SS15.  He finally called her out

on it.  During the visitations after that, we did not hear a peep from him, even that his flight had arrived

safely, or that he was back at the airport to fly home.  We have tracking software on his phone, and it regularly

drove to her work, etc.

DH had a long talk with him this time about his responsibility for communication, since uBPDm does not communicate

willingly.  Since he told her he was staying put, he's been working with his counselor on setting boundaries with

uBPDm and his younger half sister.  So we're seeing one of them in that he's not letting them have his phone.  We're

very happy to be able to talk to him, and to see him getting stronger!

Happy Holidays everyone!

[PinkieV]

SS15 is visiting his uBPDm this week, and for the first time since DH has had custody, he has kept his phone

and responds to our texts and FB posts, and even initiates texts.

After his last visit, he texted uBPDm that he had decided to live with us permanently - previously he had told

her he'd stay for a year and then move back (to ward off the inevitable, we're guessing). We live two states

away, so he visits 3 - 4 times per year, depending on the year and whether she sets up the visitation.

When he was with her in the summer of 2014 for three weeks, we had no contact unless SS20 texted.  Then

it was very strange, and SS20 told us uBPDm was actually texting back, not SS15.  He finally called her out

on it.  During the visitations after that, we did not hear a peep from him, even that his flight had arrived

safely, or that he was back at the airport to fly home.  We have tracking software on his phone, and it regularly

drove to her work, etc.

DH had a long talk with him this time about his responsibility for communication, since uBPDm does not communicate

willingly.  Since he told her he was staying put, he's been working with his counselor on setting boundaries with

uBPDm and his younger half sister.  So we're seeing one of them in that he's not letting them have his phone.  We're

very happy to be able to talk to him, and to see him getting stronger!

Happy Holidays everyone!

[bravhart1]

This is great news and a beacon of hope for those of us who are just beginning to help our children find their own voices and boundaries.

I know you must be so proud of him, we all can relate to the difficulty of dealing with a BPDm or dad.

Thanks for sharing this, I hope we all get some relief and a replenishment of strength going into this new year!

[unicorn2014]

Thank you for sharing this. I have a D15, her dad is also disordered. I have a story I could share, I just might.

[Panda39]

PinkieV

Nice to hear the progress your SS15 is making it does indeed sound like he is getting stronger and probably a little bit more mature.  My SO and I started seeing his daughters start asserting themselves around 14&15 as well.  Sounds like good things are going on at your house. 

Wishing you and your family a Happy New Year.

Panda39