A peaceful new year to you all.

[Depression = 72% of members]

I know it will be tough for some of you, myself included, but I wanted to thank the people on this board and wish you all a peaceful new years.

2016 is likely to big year for those of us on the road to recovery and self discovery. Here's to a better future.   

[homefree]

I know it will be tough for some of you, myself included, but I wanted to thank the people on this board and wish you all a peaceful new years.

2016 is likely to big year for those of us on the road to recovery and self discovery. Here's to a better future.   

[thisworld]

A la sante!

To our health!

 

[izabellizima]

I am so friggin' depressed. Have tickets to a good venue for NYE, though probably full of young people being... .young and dumb and adorably peppy. Been telling myself its not gonna be safe and to stay in but I sort of know its because I wanna sulk in comfort and have no one to kiss and hold and make me feel human.

Now I remember the last new years and the one before... .danced and laughed.

I am so sick of crying!

[Lonely_Astro]

I am so friggin' depressed. Have tickets to a good venue for NYE, though probably full of young people being... .young and dumb and adorably peppy. Been telling myself its not gonna be safe and to stay in but I sort of know its because I wanna sulk in comfort and have no one to kiss and hold and make me feel human.

Now I remember the last new years and the one before... .danced and laughed.

I am so sick of crying!

It's hard, I know.  This New Years for me is different than last years.  But, get out there and meet some of those young and dumb starry eyed kids.  Who knows, if you pretend to have some fun, you just may accidentally end up having some. 

We all can sit around and cry about our exes, there's plenty of time to grieve them later if we choose.  But tonight, tonight is a symbol that life goes on and there's other experiences out there awaiting us to pick it up and go.

Today is the last day I'm going to speak to my pwBPD for at least 2 months.  She knew this and for the past week she has been more open, grounded, and lucid than I have seen from her in a long time.  Maybe it's a mask, maybe it's her, maybe it's better since the pressure of "us" is off... .I don't know.  Even though I know I have many trials ahead of me in the coming 2 months, I'm taking tonight off.  New Years is a symbol for me of a new beginning, a new chapter in my life.  Is she thinking of me tonight?  I don't know.  But I have to take a break of thinking of her.  We had great times and we had bad this past year.  The last 3 months have been crazy ridiculous for me and I realize just how different it's all been for her.  It isn't healthy for either of us.

I will wish her a happy new year before midnight tonight and say a final goodbye to her because I feel like I need to.  After midnight, Cinderella has to leave the ball.

Take the night off. Relax. You've been through a lot and deserve it to yourself.

[thisworld]

Hey Izabellizima

It's a difficult day for many of us here and it's normal to cry, too. We are even allowed a stuffy or runny nose. This is because we are human and hey, you don't need anyone to make you feel human. You are this beautiful human, a sensitive, thoughtful human with a great depth, and isn't that why you are crying anyway?

Right now, the most important thing in this world for you is YOU. It's not the New Year, it's not the venue, it's not who is or who isn't with you, but YOU. Please do whatever you feel would make you slightly better even if not completely happy. If you feel that you don't want to go but being able to go will add you some strength do that. If you feel that you don't want to force yourself that much, then stay at home. If you feel like changing your mind, feel free to that. Maybe go there, have a look and come back home. But please keep in mind that it's about YOU, YOU, YOU. Do not let anything, the New Year, other people's entertainment or expectations to dictate anything on you. Actually, why not treating yourself like a little kid or your best friend today? Be as loving, as accepting to yourself.

Maybe, don't worry about New Year today. Let go. You'll have many more of these. Just let go this year, accept that this year you won't behave the way New Year wants you to, but you'll do whatever makes you happy. It's symbolically meaningful but still, there are many of them on this planet. Be as free as you like. Have it another day this year, the Chinese will have it on February 8.

Nothing is more important than you. 

[homefree]

I'm sorry you are going through this, iza. Holidays come around at the worst times depending on your timeline. For me it was Thanksgiving. I might as well have been a ghost.

And in a way New Years is the worse since it's 'party time'.

Tonight I'm going to fake it. I'm going to hope some of the fun actually seeps in. I'm going to try not to get too drunk because I'm scared what will come out.

But I'm going to do like Astro says. I can pick up with my grief tomorrow. In fact, I'm positive I will. It's not going anywhere. For the next 6 hours I'm going to throw myself into the fun just to see what happens.

It's your choice what you do. Whatever you decide, be kind to yourself.  

[izabellizima]

Thank you all so so much Astro and thisworld and homefree... .

I am dressed up because I wanna go out and see what it feels like, but like thisworld said, if I decide to come right back home I will do just that with no self-judgement.

I will do what Astro said and check to see if their ridiculous antics make me chuckle a bit.

Like homefree said, my grief may follow me and I am sure it will be here tomorrow, but tonight I will put it to the side as best I can and smile at some acquaintances... .fake it just a little.

I will celebrate myself this holiday because despite my raging desire to contact her, I have not. Not today, not Christmas. I made it through two biggies without falling off the horse. Only 21 days, I know but *highfive!

Thank you guys for the perspective and the  hugs   I am so grateful for you all and for this site. Happy New Year!

[Lonely_Astro]

Thank you all so so much Astro and thisworld and homefree... .

I am dressed up because I wanna go out and see what it feels like, but like thisworld said, if I decide to come right back home I will do just that with no self-judgement.

I will do what Astro said and check to see if their ridiculous antics make me chuckle a bit.

Like homefree said, my grief may follow me and I am sure it will be here tomorrow, but tonight I will put it to the side as best I can and smile at some acquaintances... .fake it just a little.

I will celebrate myself this holiday because despite my raging desire to contact her, I have not. Not today, not Christmas. I made it through two biggies without falling off the horse. Only 21 days, I know but *highfive!

Thank you guys for the perspective and the  hugs   I am so grateful for you all and for this site. Happy New Year!

Hey, to a BPD 21 days is an eternity

Joking aside, Happy New Year to you to!  May we all be as fortunate as you to have 21 days of NC.  Midnight is just around the corner and marks day #1 of me being NC with J (on a personal level because I work with her I can't be truly "nc". 

I guess I am fortunate in some ways in that I got to say goodbye to her.  She replied back with kind words that were deep and meaningful.  I wish she could always be like that and maybe one day she will be, but I can't trust I'd have "this" J very long if I tried to work it out.  Even now, I find myself wondering what she's doing (I doubt sitting at home pining for me).  I have to break those chains that are binding me.

Good luck to us all!