Do you ever think like they think?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Strange question here but I feel like it's a strong detachment tool. I often rationalize actions of my dBPDexgf as if they were my own actions. For instance lets say I was the one who cheated on her and lied about it and left her. Knowing how she feels what would my action be for this poor decision I made. I would probably go cold on her. I would feel guilty and shameful. By now she has easily told friends and families. I am now a monster in everyone's eyes. All my lies came to plain sight. I am not trustworthy. Everyone sees it. I loved her with all my heart and look what I did. Do I reach out? If I do all those emotions will be brought back up. All the shame. Guilt. I treated her so bad. I raged at her. How could she even love me? No one loves me.

Now multiply that by infinity

[Confused?]

Strange question here but I feel like it's a strong detachment tool. I often rationalize actions of my dBPDexgf as if they were my own actions. For instance lets say I was the one who cheated on her and lied about it and left her. Knowing how she feels what would my action be for this poor decision I made. I would probably go cold on her. I would feel guilty and shameful. By now she has easily told friends and families. I am now a monster in everyone's eyes. All my lies came to plain sight. I am not trustworthy. Everyone sees it. I loved her with all my heart and look what I did. Do I reach out? If I do all those emotions will be brought back up. All the shame. Guilt. I treated her so bad. I raged at her. How could she even love me? No one loves me.

Now multiply that by infinity

[Learning_curve74]

Well said, Confused?.    Being empathetic and feeling what they feel can be a helpful tool in detaching, foregiveness, and healing.

[VeraTrue]

I don't think it is strange. It helps me to try to think in terms other than the loop of "She tricked me... .she f**ked me over... .if she thinks of me at all it is to paint me black and blame me for her issues... .she never cared... .she's a destructive monster and I'm an idiot for ever trusting her... .i took all the bullets for her and she laughed while I bled"

Good lord. Anything is better than all that. Compassion is a great choice. Thanks for reminding me.