Dissolution Underway - I have custody. Am I able to keep the house?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

 uBPDw moving forward w request for dissolution.  I am filing as minor daughter has been w me in a state different from the one mom lives in now.  Minor daughter turns 18 Spring 2017. 

I would like to petition the court (and wife) to keep the house another 18 mos.  This would help minimize disruption to the girls.

Any thoughts?

Any pointers?

[Dobzhansky]

 uBPDw moving forward w request for dissolution.  I am filing as minor daughter has been w me in a state different from the one mom lives in now.  Minor daughter turns 18 Spring 2017. 

I would like to petition the court (and wife) to keep the house another 18 mos.  This would help minimize disruption to the girls.

Any thoughts?

Any pointers?

[livednlearned]

Hi Dobzhansky,

It can be hard to get even the smallest things accomplished with a spouse who is dysregulating (which usually happens when there is divorce on the table). For that reason, it's helpful to think through what kind of leverage you have. We can help you better if we know a little more about your circumstances.

It sounds like your wife has been out of the picture for a while, and not trying to get custody?

What are the current terms for your living arrangements? Do you already have some kind of temporary order in place?

LnL

[ForeverDad]

If you could reach an agreement with her, then it is possible to either delay the listing date or substitute something else in place of her half of the house's equity, or whichever portion would be hers.  If the house equity is to be split after the house is sold, then you'd just have to have the agreement specify a date after she graduates, maybe July 2017, to list the house for sale and reasonable milestones thereafter.  (Be careful not to lock yourself into restrictive milestones in case the housing market is not doing well then.)

If she won't agree, then it would be up to the judge to decide whether to order a delayed sale of the house.

If she opposes, then would it be a dissolution (uncontested) or a divorce (contested terms)?  Many here had their high conflict divorces take a year or even two years.  Depending how long your case takes, it may be that this isn't as big an issue as it appears now.

In the final analysis, a house is not a home, home is where you live.  I do appreciate what you're trying to do, it's just hard to say how practical it will be, it depends on your spouse's willingness to make a deal, the length of your court case, etc.