Feel like like I'm breaking

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I can't stop reflecting on the relationship and going from mad to sad to going insane. My ex has been bullied has chronic depression told me nobody loved her everybody wants to change her, nobody is ever on her side, she could barely make friends. I was there for her I tried my best to be that positive person in her life and I loved her unconditionally we had ups and downs but she wanted a promise ring and I happily obliged on her birthday. She was crying playing love songs in the car. Fast forward two weeks she forgets my birthday and when I confront her she breaks up with me on my birthday because I'd eventually hate her I deserve better etc etc. And how she cant take care of herself and needs therapy for her depression hoping it could work out later

Thinking that if she feels this way she'll get better I resolved to stay while she got stronger she agreed told me that she was terrified of losing me and to wipe the slate clean. Sadly she never followed through on therapy, she just stuck to meds.Then ensued the worst neglect I've ever felt in a relationship only contacting me to vent or if she needed something. Taking whole days to respond back to me after not seeing her for weeks, then finally saying she cant do this anymore I feel like a friend and she's not ready for my ring. I keep thinking I'm ok but I'm not guys I feel like I was slowly mentally breaking because of how awesome things were in the beginning and how they drastically changed. After supporting her in making friends she abandoned me the same way she also complained about. I'm at my lowest state mentally and now I think I may even need therapy. I just don't understand was she cheating was there someone else? I don't know if these things will ease my pain but no person should be able to bounce back and forth like that emotionally. I fear my scars will take a long long time to heal because I let someone in my life who was once my best friend and she in essence treated me how she said everyone treats her.

[jujux15]

I can't stop reflecting on the relationship and going from mad to sad to going insane. My ex has been bullied has chronic depression told me nobody loved her everybody wants to change her, nobody is ever on her side, she could barely make friends. I was there for her I tried my best to be that positive person in her life and I loved her unconditionally we had ups and downs but she wanted a promise ring and I happily obliged on her birthday. She was crying playing love songs in the car. Fast forward two weeks she forgets my birthday and when I confront her she breaks up with me on my birthday because I'd eventually hate her I deserve better etc etc. And how she cant take care of herself and needs therapy for her depression hoping it could work out later

Thinking that if she feels this way she'll get better I resolved to stay while she got stronger she agreed told me that she was terrified of losing me and to wipe the slate clean. Sadly she never followed through on therapy, she just stuck to meds.Then ensued the worst neglect I've ever felt in a relationship only contacting me to vent or if she needed something. Taking whole days to respond back to me after not seeing her for weeks, then finally saying she cant do this anymore I feel like a friend and she's not ready for my ring. I keep thinking I'm ok but I'm not guys I feel like I was slowly mentally breaking because of how awesome things were in the beginning and how they drastically changed. After supporting her in making friends she abandoned me the same way she also complained about. I'm at my lowest state mentally and now I think I may even need therapy. I just don't understand was she cheating was there someone else? I don't know if these things will ease my pain but no person should be able to bounce back and forth like that emotionally. I fear my scars will take a long long time to heal because I let someone in my life who was once my best friend and she in essence treated me how she said everyone treats her.

[homefree]

I'm sorry jujux. This behavior throws us around like rag dolls. We who give so much of ourselves and are so susceptible to the cruel madness of their actions.

It's 4:24am here and I'm still up because the whole world is tilting around me and it doesn't matter any more what my watch says.

We are suffering, but we are not alone. There are so many here who suffered or are suffering. So many who can understand the pain.

It will get better. We will get better. 

You are not alone.

[Scopikaz]

I'm right there with you. In my case it seemed she loved me immensely. But I really think now everything she did was out of insecurity.  Insecurity masked as love. She didn't want me. Was just too insecure and wanted anybody.  She wasn't jealous of me. She was insecure I'd leave her. She treated me nice because of her insecurities and fears. Not because of her love.

[jujux15]

I'm sorry jujux. This behavior throws us around like rag dolls. We who give so much of ourselves and are so susceptible to the cruel madness of their actions.

It's 4:24am here and I'm still up because the whole world is tilting around me and it doesn't matter any more what my watch says.

We are suffering, but we are not alone. There are so many here who suffered or are suffering. So many who can understand the pain.

It will get better. We will get better. 

You are not alone.

I hope so. I've been going out more lifting again basically improving myself but whenever I'm done doing those things I start thinking about her, hell I'm doing it right now

[jujux15]

I'm right there with you. In my case it seemed she loved me immensely. But I really think now everything she did was out of insecurity.  Insecurity masked as love. She didn't want me. Was just too insecure and wanted anybody.  She wasn't jealous of me. She was insecure I'd leave her. She treated me nice because of her insecurities and fears. Not because of her love.

Yeah I'm starting to realize that they love the idea of us not us of that makes sense, hence why they are able to treat us so poorly. They can find another sucker out there