hey double_edge, and
Could there be a logic explanation for this experience?
yes. its a common topic here, you might search back a few pages. i had some pretty painful dreams early on after the breakup, though they didnt last too long. after that, over the years, id have very occasional dreams, always the same, me desperately trying to find a way to break up with her/realizing the relationship couldnt work. to this day, i have recurring dreams about an ex from eleven years ago, who lasted three months, and whom i never give a spare thought to.
can you share a bit more about your relationship? you say there was a lot of drama and breakups. these are often traumatic relationships and thats your short answer, but the details of your dreams may be found in the details of your relationship. it sounds like there is some guilt in your dreams?
After the breakups I never had any dreams about her. This is my first experience with a pwBPD so in the beginning it was very confusing for me. In the early stages she really tried to hide her illness from and played it cool.
I had a couple relationships in the past with non-BPD’s and it was very different unlike this RS I had with my exBPD. From the first day I knew that something was wrong. Later when I found out about her illness I discovered so many red flags, even from the first day when I was with her I could easily remember at least 5 red flags.
When I started to learn more about this illness I accepted that I could never be together with her, even if I got back we would be in a fight within an eye blink and the cycle starts again. This caused me to move on.
I get these dreams on holidays only. One year ago before Christmas she did invite me to her place, we had a fight and she ruined the entire day. She was drunk and she said hurtful things to me, she went to sleep and I left her place.
Couple days later I called her to talk about what happened and things went fine again. I asked her if she has any plans for new year’s eve. She said that she would call me, and would spend the night together. She didn’t call me that day so I decided to hang around with a couple friend of mine, I knew she was trying to get her revenge.
After a couple days we had a fight again and according to her I did abandon her and accused me of being a cheater and abuser. When I confronted her about the things she said on Christmas eve she did deny everything. Just like the majority of BPD’s she tried to manipulate me by using the fact that I did not call her on new year eve and that she did wait for my calls. It’s hilarious because on new year’s eve I did text her and she never send a message back.
