Crazy making

[Depression = 72% of members]

I recently ran into my BPD ex. She said she wanted to meet for coffee at 7:30 in the morning this week, and that she would contact me about the place. I have not heard from her and it's 6 o'clock the night before we are supposed to meet. Now I'm wondering if i'm crazy and there was a miscommunication about where we are to meet. I don't know what to do. I don't want to call or text her, bit I to show up somewhere and be waiting on me. I probably shouldn't care at all, but I'm not an unkind person.

[KeepOnGoing]

I recently ran into my BPD ex. She said she wanted to meet for coffee at 7:30 in the morning this week, and that she would contact me about the place. I have not heard from her and it's 6 o'clock the night before we are supposed to meet. Now I'm wondering if i'm crazy and there was a miscommunication about where we are to meet. I don't know what to do. I don't want to call or text her, bit I to show up somewhere and be waiting on me. I probably shouldn't care at all, but I'm not an unkind person.

[UserName69]

Is it really necessary for her to contact you just to give you the name of the place? I believe she's doing this so she can contact you whenever she wants; my exBPD played these games too.

[Rayban]

How recent was it? Week ago? days ago? Remember these people don't know what they'll be doing form one minute to the next. That or she found something shinier to spend time with. Personally, I wouldn't contact her.

[fromheeltoheal]

Hey KOG-

She said she's contact you and tell you where.  She didn't.  You know her; is she usually unreliable like that, blowing off commitments to you?  That could be considered a lack of integrity, but in any case, you wouldn't be 'unkind' by not doing anything.

And there's good stuff to focus on here: she said she wanted to meet, and so you agreed; does she always call the shots like that?  :)o you want to meet with her?  And have you looked at the way you are willing to go out of your way with an unclear agreement so she isn't waiting on you, and if you didn't do that you'd be unkind?  That might have been the vibe in the relationship, it was in mine, and part of detaching is saying enough of this sht, I'm taking my power back, and you need to treat me with respect or I'm not interested.  That might me the opposite of how it went in the relationship, so it will feel new and different, but also right and empowering, time to give that to yourself?

[Herodias]

Mine does that kind of stuff all the time... .he e-mailed me and asked what I was doing Saturday... .I asked why? He never responded. He always seems to drop things... .He asked me if he could have the drill... .I didn't respond, he never asked again. Must not have been that important.

[Fr4nz]

I guess this is what is commonly referred as "keeping tabs".