Working out my own issues first

[Davy]

I made a second appointment with my therapist.

Have to work out my own issues first.

I'm losing hope off getting back with her (still want to) but at least it might help me in a future relationship.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[livednlearned]

I made a second appointment with my therapist.

Have to work out my own issues first.

I'm losing hope off getting back with her (still want to) but at least it might help me in a future relationship.

Hey Davy. Hang in there, friend. You're changing the way you deal with relationship instability, and your anxiety may dip into depressive thinking for a while. If you have family of origin issues where there was relationship instability, it can feel even more intense. As my T always said to me, Lean into the feelings. Often anxiety masks these other feelings, and we need to process them in order to set them aside and move on.

As hard as it feels right now to limit your contact, it doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship is over. Depression can distort thinking -- we may feel more fatalistic about things, especially if we have strong fixing/rescuing tendencies.

She may experience the extra space in a positive way.

You're doing the right thing, focusing on you. 

[unicorn2014]

i am really glad you are doing this! 




I think being in individual therapy is the very best thing we can do for ourselves as partners of people with personality disorders.

I read something in Understanding the Borderline Mother that borderlines even challenge the professionals that are treating them, and they only see them once or twice a week. We are exposed to these people every day. It takes a toll. Look at all the people suffering from PTSD from being in relationships with disordered people.

You are doing the right thing.