BPD and serious illness

[TiredSis56]

Hi - my sister has BPD and is also bipolar.  She also has autoimmune disorders. Recently, she was in the hospital for several days due to a serious thyroid condition.  Towards the end of her stay, she asked the doctor to look at her tongue and roof of her mouth because they were burning.  Well, by this time, he was done with her and just wanted her discharged (that was on Thursday).  Today, her tongue is swollen with huge, bright red patches.  So, I'm going to have to take her to the walk in clinic and wait for two hours.  She still isn't feeling well so this will be a strain on both of us.

I get that BPD patients are difficult but I'm kind of angry at this doctor for just writing her off.  I guess he figured they got her over the thyroid crisis and didn't have to deal with anything else.   What is the best way to handle this.  Both "Hospitalists" that worked with her got angry and that is not very professional.   Thanks for any help you can offer.

[Woolspinner2000]

Hi TiredSis!   Welcome and here's a hug to start you off because you are most certainly exhausted 

I'm so sorry that you have the added stress of your sister being physically sick on top of her mental disorders. That's a bit much for anyone to handle. 

Your sister is fortunate to have someone in her life that cares for her as you do by helping her through this. Yes, you are right that the hospitalists sound unprofessional. The best thing I can encourage you to do is to be an advocate for your loved one and insist that they at least listen and look at the complaint. Typically once a patient has been in the hospital for the average length of stay that the diagnosis allows, they are then discharged even if the patient isn't ready to leave. If it is too difficult for you to make some waves for your sister, find someone who will help you to do so. I'm not very aggressive myself, so getting another family member to speak their mind to insist on care may work for you. Another option would be to contact a case manager at the hospital. They will be able to pull strings too.

Were you able to get help at the clinic? Prayers for you. 

Wools

[TiredSis56]

Thanks,Wools.  It's been a long, frustrating journey.  Today, I'm so angry I could spit nails.  I'm the only family within 300+ miles and really the only family who I can even expect to get involved are her son and our other sister.  I had it all arranged for her son to drive out this week and now she has talked him out of it!  I guess she figures she can stay alone now (docs wanted someone with her round the clock for two weeks).  I know why she doesn't want him to come right now - she would rather he come when she feels better do they can go do things together.  But the main reason I wanted him to come is because, even though she will be home, I will still be the one to drive her to appointments, go down the place to help with this or that, etc.  I wanted him here mainly so I could take a break. 

We live in a very rural area where there is a lot of demand on Social services.  I have tried to get her help but they say she isn't eligible.  I tried to get the community mental health involved again but they no longer accept Medicare.

I'm at my wits end. She brought this thyroid crisis on by not taking her medication.  I get that she believed it was making her sick but she still should have been taking it.  The first hospitalist I spoke with (after he saw her) was really angry because she has jumped from doctor to doctor and so it's difficult to gather the records to figure things out.  He pegged her right away as Borderline.  If she can't control the doctor she decides they are "a**holes" and says she won't see them again, 

She doesn't know she had BPD (she only believes she is bipolar) and would deny it if ever told.  But I'm done with dealing with the craziness.  I wish either her son wound move here or move her to where he lives but since he doesn't have a pot to pee in, that's not going to happen.

Sorry - just needed to vent as she had just told me about her son not coming.