I got fooled.

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hey. So some weeks ago I posted a question around dating a person with borderline personality disorder who is in therapy.

She came from Vancouver to New York for 3 days before Christmas. It was amazing. When she went back home she essentially begged me to come stay with her in Vancouver at her place for 5 weeks instead of staying in New York (I have a conference in New York mid Feb which I was just staying in NY leading up to it).

I suggested we take it slow and I come after the conference (before I go home which is on the other side of the world). She continued to beg that I come NOWWWWW... I made her promise that no matter what she wouldn't flip half way through my stay and do something stupid like kick me out. She said "I promise you 100000% that I would not do that. I don't promise things unless I know I can do it".

In short she convinced me to come. I gave up my apartment and went to Vancouver. 1 week later she walks out the door after a wonderful conversation and has sex with her ex. She comes back and says she did so because she didn't want to me to abandon her. I decided to forgive her. Then one week later (yesterday) she told me to leave and that she needs space. That she can't handle me being there.

So yeah... I followed my heart and trusted her... but I got burned, duped. I feel terrible.

[woofbarkmeowbeep]

Hey. So some weeks ago I posted a question around dating a person with borderline personality disorder who is in therapy.

She came from Vancouver to New York for 3 days before Christmas. It was amazing. When she went back home she essentially begged me to come stay with her in Vancouver at her place for 5 weeks instead of staying in New York (I have a conference in New York mid Feb which I was just staying in NY leading up to it).

I suggested we take it slow and I come after the conference (before I go home which is on the other side of the world). She continued to beg that I come NOWWWWW... I made her promise that no matter what she wouldn't flip half way through my stay and do something stupid like kick me out. She said "I promise you 100000% that I would not do that. I don't promise things unless I know I can do it".

In short she convinced me to come. I gave up my apartment and went to Vancouver. 1 week later she walks out the door after a wonderful conversation and has sex with her ex. She comes back and says she did so because she didn't want to me to abandon her. I decided to forgive her. Then one week later (yesterday) she told me to leave and that she needs space. That she can't handle me being there.

So yeah... I followed my heart and trusted her... but I got burned, duped. I feel terrible.

[Confused108]

Sorry buddy. I had the same thing except I didn't run to see her. She also is from Canada, Montreal. She was my ex from my teen years. She developed BPD later on after my Mom broke us up as teens. It does su*k! I know what your going through. These people are unfortunately liars , cheaters , etc. . They tend to keep all their ex lovers around so in case one relationship doesn't work out... .Bc as you know they destroy them , they will hop back into another one with an ex lover etc. Mine found me on FB after 28 years. Suckered me into believing she loved me , then dumped me outta the clear blue sky . So yea run and don't look back! They will not change and it's all about them!

[MapleBob]

Huh. Mine was Canadian too, also in Vancouver. Thank god I didn't rush to move there to be with her! It would have been exactly the same story, and part of me knew it.

[woofbarkmeowbeep]

Huh. Mine was Canadian too, also in Vancouver. Thank god I didn't rush to move there to be with her! It would have been exactly the same story, and part of me knew it.

Yeah... part of me knew it too... but I ignored it and trusted her damn it.

[woofbarkmeowbeep]

Sorry buddy. I had the same thing except I didn't run to see her. She also is from Canada, Montreal. She was my ex from my teen years. She developed BPD later on after my Mom broke us up as teens. It does su*k! I know what your going through. These people are unfortunately liars , cheaters , etc. . They tend to keep all their ex lovers around so in case one relationship doesn't work out... .Bc as you know they destroy them , they will hop back into another one with an ex lover etc. Mine found me on FB after 28 years. Suckered me into believing she loved me , then dumped me outta the clear blue sky . So yea run and don't look back! They will not change and it's all about them!

Wow... yeah, sorry to hear that.  Being dumped out of the clear blue sky is all too common it seems... Totally happened to me the other night too... and yep - run and don't look back is always the best advice. Thanks for reminding me.

These first few weeks will be hard no doubt though ... F@#$!