Contacted by ExBPDw

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I was contacted yesterday via email by the ex.  She was awarded the house 2 years ago in the divorce, was required to pay the mortgage, but my name remained on the note because she couldn't refinance.  I got an email saying she would be moving out to a rental in March.  I suspect she emailed me as a warning that once she moved out, she wasn't going to pay the mortgage... .basically it would get dumped in my lap.

I sent her a response saying the court awarded you the house, so you can do as you please.  About an hour later, I sent another email asking if she wanted to give our marriage another try.  There was no response to either message.  I expected at least some response to the first, and while I wished for a response to the second, deep down I knew there would be none.  To me, the moral of this story is they will contact you, but it will be because they need something from you.  I am slowly realizing that we are only tools they use to achieve their goals. 

[ivan da terrible]

I was contacted yesterday via email by the ex.  She was awarded the house 2 years ago in the divorce, was required to pay the mortgage, but my name remained on the note because she couldn't refinance.  I got an email saying she would be moving out to a rental in March.  I suspect she emailed me as a warning that once she moved out, she wasn't going to pay the mortgage... .basically it would get dumped in my lap.

I sent her a response saying the court awarded you the house, so you can do as you please.  About an hour later, I sent another email asking if she wanted to give our marriage another try.  There was no response to either message.  I expected at least some response to the first, and while I wished for a response to the second, deep down I knew there would be none.  To me, the moral of this story is they will contact you, but it will be because they need something from you.  I am slowly realizing that we are only tools they use to achieve their goals. 

[Suzn]

Hey Ivan

I'm sorry you didn't get the response you were hoping for.    Anyone would be disappointed in this situation.

I suspect she emailed me as a warning that once she moved out, she wasn't going to pay the mortgage... .basically it would get dumped in my lap. 

Have you had a chance to speak with your attorney in regards to your name being on the house? What are your plans?

[ivan da terrible]

Suzn,

Thanks for the response.  I finally heard back from the ex.  She is amenable to a refi-buyout.  That is great.  My disappointment was temporary, but it made me question myself.  While I do miss the ex, I really don't want to go back into that world again.  I am better off being as far away from it as possible.  I sincerely hope she finds the happiness she deserves, and I think I can finally move on in my life.

[Pretty Woman]

Ivan,

   I think once we get to the point we only wish them well... .that is our closure. It sounds like once the house situation is tied up you will be out, Scott-Free.

I truly wish you the best on your journey. Sometimes I like you miss my ex yet know I would never want to go through what I did again... .and it would happen again if I let it.

Hugs

PW