*hugs* mssalty It's beyond frustrating sometimes dealing with their emotions and trying to deal with our own as well.
I get through it by sort of 'removing myself' from the situation. I remind myself he is mentally ill. I remind myself that his words are based on feelings he is experiencing at the time. There's different kinds of dysregulations with my husband, and I have just kind of learned over time which ones I need to key in and listen to, and which ones a smile and nod is enough.
You can even kind of make a game out of it. When he's dysregulating, 9 times out of 10 whatever he says it is... .it isn't. He's not upset that a dish was left in the sink. He's upset because he told me earlier he doesn't like that, and seeing one in there means I didn't listen and I don't care what he thinks. See... .the detective needs to be on the case! So I listen with the intent of sniffing out what the REAL trigger is. It's important to note they usually don't know themselves.
It's really hard sometimes. We are vulnerable too, sometimes. We need validation. We need to feel that acceptance. It's not going to come from them... .they can't handle their own emotions, let alone someone else's.
I use this forum, spending time with my children, play video games, photography, etc. to help with that. I also have been emailing a friend that's been helpful for me to get some stuff out that I can't talk to H about
