Is my bf suffering from BPD?

[Seraphine]

Hi, I worry about my boyfriend. We have been together almost 3 years with up and downs caused by his anger problem. I left him 3 times, but he always managed to convince me to move back. Beside his problem, he is a very nice, clever and caring boyfriend. When we met, he told me that he has been suffering from anxiety. But with time and whit what I have seen him doing, I know that there must be more to it as his condition seems more serious. He also told me that him and his sister were physically abused by their father when their were small as well as had to witness several times their father beating up their mother. I have done some research and I think he may suffer from BPD.

When he gets angry, usually because of me by saying something he doesn't like, he will start crying, hitting his head badly, punching the walls or kicking the doors. He gets these fits of rage screaming like crazy to my face and constantly repeating questions like "why you do this to me, why you abusing me, why, why? What have I done?" And he won't stop screaming till I manage to run away. I would like to talk to him about it, but I don't know how. Many times I don't bring things up so I don't make him angry. I would like to suggest him to seek a profesional help, but I am afraid of his reaction. I am very scared to have a baby and future with him, i worry he can be dangerous. It makes me very anxious. I do love him, but I need him to be healthy for us to be able to plan some future together.

Thank you for your time and reading my message.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with these difficult behaviors. My husband has had these fits of rage too and has hit himself in the head with his fists. I'd never seen anything like that and it was terrifying. Please take a look at the lessons on the right side of this page. And keep posting more of your story. We understand. We've been through it too.   

[babyducks]

   Seraphine,

You've made a good first step in joining us here in learning about what BPD is and how to deal with the behaviors that come with the disorder.   

It is difficult to be in a relationship with someone who has this disorder,  very little is what it seems.   

What is BPD?

Are you two living together now?   

It's not normally recommended to tell someone you suspect they have BPD.  Especially when we are ourselves are new to the information.   The concern is that the intervention, no matter how gently or carefully done could go wrong and create distrust and resistance to getting help.   Go ahead and take a look at the link below and see what you think okay?

PERSPECTIVES: Telling someone that you think they have BPD

and then come back and let us know how you are doing.

'ducks