100 days NC. 6 months separated

[Joem678]

Hello Everyone!  It's been 100 days since I went NC.  For me, it's been a time of healing.  The heartache is very much still there.  I do miss her greatly but what NC has helped me do is pull myself together.  NC should not be used as a tool to get them to come back.  This is the wrong forum for you.  That is a manipulative technique used on stable/healthy people.  

NC should be used for your own purpose to heal and detach.  It's been a tough ride and is still hard but I am rebuilding my life little by little (read previous threads). My strength when weak was to realize that while I was missing she was in someone else's sheets.  I put myself through this dark tunnel of emotions but am coming to the light fairly quickly.  Realize this brothers and sisters.  While your missing them, what are they doing?  This provides pain but it also leads to healing.

What I fear the most, is that her emotions as a wife of 19 years, was put in a compartment and still sits in her somewhere.  The fact that she never grieved freaks out my kids.  But, now, I know I am ready for what might come my way.  

Initially, she wanted a divorce but has not filed.  A little more time of NC and I will be strong enough to do it myself.  Hope you guys are well!