New to the group

Hello Seth,

Welcome to the group. I'm glad that you found us but I can sympathize for why you're hear. As Mustbea has said there are references to the side here --------------->> >

As well as some references at the top of the page. There are books such as "I hate you, don't leave me", "Stop walking on egg shells", and "The Human Magnet Syndrome" which you should be able to find at your local library or online. I would also encourage you to seek out a very good mental health therapist to help you sort though your feelings, emotions, thoughts to the events that have happen in the past and will happen in the future. In the process you will need to look inward at yourself as to why you are probably a NON or a codependent aka care giver. I encourage you to read all that you can about BPD and how it affects her and how it affects you. I would also encourage you and your wife to explore the reasons why she became BPD and it appears you have a good start on that as you referenced by her horrible overbearing parents & her lifelong desire to receive validation from her abusive mother.

Here you'll find no one to judge you or that will think lesser of you because most if not of us here are codependent or "recovering codependents". BPD & NONs are like magnets with an extreme natural attraction to each other. One the caregiver the other one the care TAKER ... .some refer to it as a crazy train roller coaster ride of emotions, behavior and trying to really understand it all. You're about to embark on a journey of self discovery sethg, it'll be part of the process to move forward in a direction that only you can decide. You can continue down the path your currently walking, or you can take the next path to the right and see where that leads you or you can sit down right where you're at and do nothing. WE can't walk this journey for you but when you stumble and you will, someone here will be right behind you to offer you a hand up, we'll dust you off and straighten you up. It's up to YOU to decide to take the next step forward in your journey.

The great thing about this site is that it's anonymous ... .you'll be able to speak our mind, speak the truth, ask questions ... .explain situations without fear. Between this site, my own therapy, reading, researching, learning, exploring, and a deep dive on myself I have learned a lot about myself, about my exBPDgf, and the reason why & how she became the way she is and more importantly the same about myself.

Can you let us know more about your situation. You said, " Things have been extremely bizarre and I wanted to join to feel a little more grounded in the face of the unbelievably sad state of the entire situation". Ask the questions you need to ... .that you want too ... .we can't tell you what to do but we certainly can tell you what did or didn't work for us. NO two people in the world are exactly alike so no two situations are exactly alike, but in the world of BPD it can seem that they read from the same book of strange behavior. They might act out or rage like others, they might behave in other ways like others, but each situation is a little different. Come here as often as you need to and write down things too ... .it's somewhat therapeutic and helps get things off your mind about what's troubling you.

Welcome to the group sethg.

I wish for you the peace you seek, the education you want and the strength to move forward during the tough moments of your journey.

JQ



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