Flipping the Script

[Mr. Magnet]

Is it common for a BPD to flip the script after discarding you by revising history where she becomes the victim and I become the abusive mean jerk?

Of course, I wasn't always a saint but come on

[Targeted]

Common?

That's BPD law!

[fromheeltoheal]

Is it common for a BPD to flip the script after discarding you by revising history where she becomes the victim and I become the abusive mean jerk?

Yes.  The alternative would be acceptable responsibility, which would trigger shame, and BPD is a shame-based disorder so a borderline will do a lot to avoid feeling it.  Plus, playing victim can be used as an attachment tool to elicit sympathy from potential new attachments.

It's up to us to honestly determine what was ours and what wasn't, and listening to our exes once the wheels fall off is not a reliable resource as we own our stuff, detach and heal.

[Lexisdad]

Yup,

According to her i was verbally abusive! Yes may i have said things absolutelly it's flight or fight. Never in 6 years did i lash out at her and go into a full blown rage 3 or 4 days a week. They take responsibility for nothing.

[Confused108]

Yup,

According to her i was verbally abusive! Yes may i have said things absolutelly it's flight or fight. Never in 6 years did i lash out at her and go into a full blown rage 3 or 4 days a week. They take responsibility for nothing.

yup! Like you at the end right before the discard I was told I should"see" someone for my anger! Lol! I was not the one going around saying you'll regret this I promise you in fits of rage!

[Confused108]

Is it common for a BPD to flip the script after discarding you by revising history where she becomes the victim and I become the abusive mean jerk?

Of course, I wasn't always a saint but come on

YES!  They take NO Blame for anything! My ex even went so far as to blame the whole relationship on me! She came in to me and chased me via FB last June! Stupid me listened to her lies and bs. After the discard she told me I was "Obssessed" with her and it was 'Me" that ran after her and started the whole relationship! Lol! Sick! Thank God all this in the beginning was caught thru FB messenger! And I still saved everything to a San disk bc you just never k ow when they come a knocking!

[Mr. Magnet]

mine says I am psychotic and mentally ill and that I am abandoning my child.

[MapleBob]

Mine went one step further and continually flipped the script back and forth and back and forth... .either I was awful and everything was my fault, or she was awful and I was just being a huge jerk about it by trying to hold her accountable for her part.

[hashtag_loyal]

There's no flipping required: A pwBPD doing everything possible to avoid personal responsibility IS the script.

[Teereese]

 

Flipping the script and rewriting history.

I am on the tail end of divorce. Everything his L brings up makes me scratch my head.

I am stunned at the level of his lies and manipulation. It has escalated exponentially with the process.

[apollotech]

Mr. Magnet,

That's very common. You're just the latest persecutor to her victim. Don't worry, she'll describe your abusive behavior to the next knight that comes along in order to ensnare him. Many of us, myself included, will forever be part of their narrative.

[woofbarkmeowbeep]

Oh totally. Prior to me flying to another country to stay with her (she begged and I was totally sucked in at that point) she had 'never felt like this about anyone in her life'... 'really really really really want(ed) to be with me' and thought I was the bees knees.

As soon as I arrived it all went down hill, and two weeks later (after she had already had sex with her ex after the first week and kicked me out a week later because she 'needed space' I received a 9 page letter detailing what a horrible person I was and what a mistake she made inviting me over. Things like how dare I use her socks without asking (which I did once, despite her always wearing my slippers, t shirts etc no problem (and not that i cared anyway)) that I was too flamboyant in public and totally unpredictable (err, projection much?), and rude to all the waitresses at restaurants (complete Q#%$%! - in fact quite the opposite - eg one time a waitress asked me how the beer she recommended was and I said it was 'ok', and spent the next 15 minutes worried that I offended her and called her back to apologise).

Yeah... I went from being the king of the world when we didn't live together, to being some scummy town rat as soon as I moved countries.

Total script flip. In her letter she tried to say it wasn't a borderline thing and was just something she came to realise while living with me. Infact, apparently she 'realized on the first night' I arrived that it wasn't right. Thanks, lady! I just took a 7 hour flight to come live with you. Gave up my apartment, gave up my bond etc only for you to say and do that despite promising me she would '100000% not got crazy and kick me out', begging me to come stay, and that she was on top of her BPD through therapy etc. lies lies lies!

Grrrrr.