She has a new girlfriend... How do I play it?

[Depression = 72% of members]

I broke off with my gf and then after 2weeks. Realized I want to be with her forever. We started to reconcile and talk about getting back together. I hurt her so much because she felt abandoned. She went on a dating Website and after 4 weeks being apart she has a new gf, they have been together 4 weeks. I tried no contact but my ex gf was ok but then started contacting me alot

She called a few time last week and  tells me she loves me and misses me but is so hurt she is not sure she can forgive. She invited me over after I told her I wouldn't be friends and only want a romantic relationship. When I was over she called her gf because she felt guilty. She told the gf that I 'just showed up'.  Then we slept in the same bed that night and cuddled and she cried and said she wishes this hadn't happened and she loves me. The new gf is a psychologist and knows just what to say to keep my ex. After 3 weeks she is teling my ex she wants to marry her , exactly what she wants to hear.

My concerns:

I am afraid that my ex will get roped in because of the words she hears and disregard the enormous red flags in the relationship. My ex says she sees them but I am afraid she will stay anyway.

We were together 6 years . Should I do no contact and rely on her missing me and our good memories to get her back OR should I keep in contact ? I know she has to make up her own mind. I feel like with no contact she will forget me but she needs time to miss me (her words). If I dont contact her I am afraid the new gf will talk her into staying and I will have no chance. I am getting such mixed signals! I absolutely know she loves me but she is torn. Help! Please !

[potato22]

I broke off with my gf and then after 2weeks. Realized I want to be with her forever. We started to reconcile and talk about getting back together. I hurt her so much because she felt abandoned. She went on a dating Website and after 4 weeks being apart she has a new gf, they have been together 4 weeks. I tried no contact but my ex gf was ok but then started contacting me alot

She called a few time last week and  tells me she loves me and misses me but is so hurt she is not sure she can forgive. She invited me over after I told her I wouldn't be friends and only want a romantic relationship. When I was over she called her gf because she felt guilty. She told the gf that I 'just showed up'.  Then we slept in the same bed that night and cuddled and she cried and said she wishes this hadn't happened and she loves me. The new gf is a psychologist and knows just what to say to keep my ex. After 3 weeks she is teling my ex she wants to marry her , exactly what she wants to hear.

My concerns:

I am afraid that my ex will get roped in because of the words she hears and disregard the enormous red flags in the relationship. My ex says she sees them but I am afraid she will stay anyway.

We were together 6 years . Should I do no contact and rely on her missing me and our good memories to get her back OR should I keep in contact ? I know she has to make up her own mind. I feel like with no contact she will forget me but she needs time to miss me (her words). If I dont contact her I am afraid the new gf will talk her into staying and I will have no chance. I am getting such mixed signals! I absolutely know she loves me but she is torn. Help! Please !

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[sweetheart]

Hello potato22,

This all sounds very confused and upsetting for you both, six years is a long time.

Your situation is complicated by the fact that your xgf has a new partner, and she seems to have made a clear choice for now to return to this person. And yes there are some mixed messages in there as well and that must be making the situation much harder for you. I can hear that you are torn about contacting her or not. I can't tell you what to do.

Perhaps give yourself some more time and space to just sit with your feelings, they will still be very raw after your break up. Be kind to yourself, who do you have around you for support at the moment?

It's been a while since you posted, how are things for you now, has anything changed?