Phobias/Horoscopes

[Frank88]

Has anyone noticed pwBPD having unusual phobias or being really into horsocopes or fortunes?  "Magical Thinking" describes what I was seeing very well.  There were times when it seemed like my ex was in this fantasy world, like a horoscope or fortune cookie would help decide what was going to happen next.  Of course with everything else, it makes more sense now looking back.

From I Hate You-Don't Leave Me.  "

In Kernberg’s conceptualization, splitting often leads to “magical thinking”: superstitions, phobias, obsessions, and compulsions are used as talismans to ward off unconscious fears. Splitting also results in derivative defense mechanisms."

[Turkish]

We had a magical thinking thread early last year on a board which you will be able to access after you hit ten posts (sorry for the tease, but stick around  

Some of my Ex's superstitions are cultural, though within the context of BPD-like anxieties, certainly fit within the context of what you quoted. Some of them came from her BPD Hermit-like mom. The Hermit's dominant emotional state is, "life is to be feared," according to Lawson in Understanding The Borderline Mother.

When my Ex moved out, for example, I asked her if she was going to take the large wall mirror in the living room. She said no, that she felt it better staying there to "watch over the children." Cue Twilight Zone music. I took it down that day and later donated it to the Salvation Army for a tax write-off (maybe this meant I engaged in some MT of my own? It felt creepy after she said that).

It might be a stretch to think this within the context of MT, but my Ex left all sorts of things, including furniture, which she had brought into our r/s. On the surface, I understand the idea of leaving the past behind, but knowing her so well, I also felt that if she spent (unnecessary) money on new furniture, dishes, etc., that things would be better for her.

My uBPDx only a little, but my BPD mother a lot, are into get rich quick schemes. I think that this tendency may fit the definition of magical thinking, too...

[jc1010]

yeah dude, my BPD ex looked up how each one of our zodiac signs attracted each other and said how it defines our relationship perfectly. I'd imagine (not an expert) its part of the idealization phase where she was looking for proof that i was the one to save her and be her man for life. I was pretty confused that she took the time to actually look that up so i just went along with it... .like i did for a lot of things she would say or do

[circularref]

yeah dude, my BPD ex looked up how each one of our zodiac signs attracted each other and said how it defines our relationship perfectly. I'd imagine (not an expert) its part of the idealization phase where she was looking for proof that i was the one to save her and be her man for life. I was pretty confused that she took the time to actually look that up so i just went along with it... .like i did for a lot of things she would say or do

Same here. Actually, she would sometimes confuse my zodiac sign with another one (which apparently is not compatible with hers) and flip out.

[Driver]

yeah dude, my BPD ex looked up how each one of our zodiac signs attracted each other and said how it defines our relationship perfectly. I'd imagine (not an expert) its part of the idealization phase where she was looking for proof that i was the one to save her and be her man for life. I was pretty confused that she took the time to actually look that up so i just went along with it... .like i did for a lot of things she would say or do

This is really funny and scary . Although my exBPDgf was not into horoscope or zodiac signs, she did the same thing. It was as if she was presenting a proof of how we were made for each other.

[Turkish]

Found an old thread on magical thinking. It's been moved to Detaching:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=226487.0

[eeks]

I forget which book I read this in, but it said that the more chaotic a child's home life is, the more rigid rules they have to make up for themselves to live by (in order to have a feeling of stability and predictability).  So the use of astrology or fortune cookies as a predictor of the future might represent a similar attempt to "know what will happen next".

Also, because a person's astrological natal chart is said to describe their personality, it might be appealing as a potential source of self-knowledge for someone who lacks a stable sense of self, and likely did not receive sufficient mirroring and validation from their parents.