He's doing better but I'm burned out

[believer55]

Soak it up CF... .I have an unexpected day off today (car trouble) uBPDh at work til 7pm and kids gone to schol then off to other parents house. I have also taken 2 days off this wek due to depression sky rocketing. The cat, dog and I are having a wonderfully peaceful day... .no telly, no noise, no one to please or want things done their way. I am going to try to talk to him over the weekend about last weekends meltdown... .tried earlier this week and it was no good. Our ciunsellor once said he had to listen and accept my feelings... .even if he felt bad for causing them. Apparently he is sick of being to blame and I should accept my responsibility. So good luck CF... .I will be interestednto see how you go.

Oh and yeah... .add alcohol here too to get major dysreg... .

[Ceruleanblue]

Days alone can be so wonderful. I mean, I want our marriage to improve, but sometimes I just love when he has to go away on business. It gives me time to regroup, and not have to worry about what I do, or what I say, or when he'll blow up.

What do you plan to do on your two days? I've done some nice things for myself lately, like join the food club, but he's horning in on that too. It's like the one social thing I've joined, and he's wanting to come. I'd love him to go to church with me, but he won't do that of course.

Makes total sense that we can't do what he calls my "make up birthday dinner" due to lack of money, but we can both eat out tomorrow. I guess it depends on what HE wants, per usual. I realize this only reflects on his skewed priorities, but it really does change how I feel towards him. He keeps doing things that show how little I mean to him, and the consequences of that is that I view him as selfish, mean spirited, and only into himself.

I guess it's better than coming home and having him grill me about it in a suspicious way.  I wish BPDh would find a job that took him away more often, sad to say. There is so much more peace when he's not around. I hate that fact, but it's true.

Enjoy your two days!

[believer55]

Mine won't spend time without me and I am working up to say I want to go away by myself at some stage. It will be awful. He also doesn't have money for half the groceries but wants us to go out this weekend so I hear you CB. It seems a control thing... .they will only put in when they think its worth it. Just know that you are worth it xxxxx

[Cat Familiar]

Thanks, Believer and CB. My husband just called and he was planning on leaving the resort at 10. I asked him why not stay and soak in the mineral pools another hour and leave at 11, when it's check out time. (Negotiating for one more hour of freedom!   )

I've had a great relaxing couple of days. Usually I'm so task-oriented, but this time, I allowed myself to do basically nothing other than a bit of laundry and of course, the daily animal care routine, which I don't consider work at all.

I could have accompanied him on his holiday, but that would have seemed like WORK. He understood that I wouldn't go because I have to give my 19 year old cat subcutaneous fluids daily and he's so fragile at this point, it would be a death sentence for me to board him at the veterinarian's office. I've never had a cat who lived so long with fluids--I've been doing this since last May. It's a good excuse for me not to go out of town with my husband.

It's funny that what other people might consider a vacation would drain me. Partly because my husband and I have such different ideas of fun. If I were to go with him, I'd think going for a hike or riding bikes through the Napa vineyards would be fun. Not him. He just wants to lie around by the pools and read. The times I've accompanied him, I've made excuses to walk around town, getting us coffee, just to do something somewhat active.

And then, if he drinks, and Napa Valley?, duh, he snores so loudly and I don't have another room to escape to. So ultimately, it's often been quite a miserable experience for me.

So other than having to go to the dentist yesterday, I have had a great mini-staycation. And the nice thing is that I will actually be glad to see him, now that I'm more rested and relaxed.