After waiting for the "kids to be old enough", I ended a 30 year marriage to my BPD ex-wife. I knew if I ended sooner she would do everything to destroy my relationship with them. However, I didn't think she could do it when they were smart mature adults in their early twenties... .but she did. She doesn't work and lives for revenge... .in fact she always had a saying "if you do something wrong to me you"... .well I'll leave the rest up to your imagination. She has been so successful that they will not even respond to a call, text or anything... .Totally shutdown which even extends to their grandparents. I am devastated and my current therapist who knew her said to me, you may need to prepare if they never come back due to the lifetime of brainwashing and control she has over them. I am really hurting and need options of possibly ways to break the control she has over them so they can think objectively.
PayingThePrice
Welcome to the family.
Not a parent myself so I can only sympathize with your plight. But I am curious, how long has it been since the breakup? And was the change of heart in the children sudden? I can't imagine that 20+ years of father bonding could be erased by manipulations so quickly. What happened?