My brother is now becoming a problem too

[unicorn2014]

I was reading the automatic negative thoughts thread. The therapist that I worked with before I ended my marriage mailed a handout to me called thinking distortions back in 2005 and I still have it.

Fast forward to today, my brother is challenging our grandmother's trust and he managed to convince our dad to back him up. So today I called my brother up to tell him I was not at all happy about being dragged into this and my brother told me to not think about it, that it was stressing me out, to paint about it.

I started thinking about what he was saying. I have been medically diagnosed with PTSD and am still taking medication to treat it. I also had 8.5 years of therapy as well. I've tried to talk to my brother about my PTSD but he can't accept it since I'm not a military veteran.



At any rate my question is: should  I tell my brother that my stress is a symptom of my disorder or should I even bother? When I've tried to talk to him about it in the past he's dismissed it.

[Turkish]

I assume that your brother is a vet. He has and owns his own issues. He's responsible for his own feeelings, and treatment.

Similarly, you're responsible for yours, and he has already been invalidating to you (to say the least).

Reaching out to him, while you desire to, may result in further invalidation and pain to you. It sounds like he is shut off.

[unicorn2014]

No Turkish, he's not a vet. It was helpful for me to realize that my stress response is because of my PTSD.

[Turkish]

No Turkish, he's not a vet. It was helpful for me to realize that my stress response is because of my PTSD.

So he's just being a jerk, IMO.

Keep the focus on you, and your journey.

[unicorn2014]

Thanks Turkish, I'm actually beginning to have compassion for my dad. I might have an opportunity to talk to him about BPD in regards to his mom. I asked him if he really wanted to know about it and he said he did so the next time I see him I will bring him a brochure from NIMH about BPD.

My brother is also very aggressive but as long as I know myself when I'm with those two, I'll be ok. That didn't work very well growing up but now that I"m an adult I can stand on my own two feet.

[Turkish]

Again, I sense that despite his narcissistic behaviors, that you still love your dad. Still, he is who he is, so don't be hesitant to assert boudnaries to protect yourself.

[unicorn2014]

Perhaps we could delineate what those narcissistic behaviors are. I haven't had a chance to look for that book yet I told you about, children of the self absorbed and unfortunately I'm no longer seeing the therapist who identified my father as narcissistic.