Life and Times on the downwardly spiraling Rollercoaster of love

[SuperJew82]

Well here I am. I'm glad I decided to put together two things I knew about and sent them to the all knowing oracle, Google. BPD and Relationships. I knew she had some type of personality disorder and I was in a relationship with her, but I didn't start reading all of you guys' stories from hell and how closely they resembled mine. Gives me a sort of " I'm not so f*cking crazy fuzzy feeling and a little something to keep me going... .I think that is the feeling of validation. I'm not sure. I'm not great at this stuff. Well I hope you have a few mins to skim my ramblings here, so here is my story.

I'll preface this so you can get an idea of my little world. I'm 33. I like cheeseburgers. I've been divorced for a few years now, and I have two little vibrant little offspring. They make me incredibly happy. Making them happy is what I'm about.

I'm an IT Architect for a big company that everyone would know of if I mentioned it... .and no it's not the sexy kind of architect job that involves making artsy and cool business towers. I deal with a bunch of things that blink and flowcharts etc... .Even though that's enough to keep me going, I thought well maybe I should try one of those goofy online dating sites. I divorced my ex-wife as she had a less than desirable to self-medicate and refused to try to get better. Good times... I co parent with her mom. Everything is going well with all things considered. Okay back to the dating site thing now. I go on a bunch of dates and it's all fun and dandy, but I haven't really fallen for anyone yet... .but I'm picky and I'm not in a big rush. So this pretty girl messages and tells me how funny and unique I am, etc while I'm playing basketball with my neighbour. This was about  a year ago exactly. I throw the ball back to him and sit down to thumb on my phone. We talk for a week or so, then arrange a date.

It was the best date ever. She was head over heels for me and we shared so much. Kissed her and drove all the way back to the house with a stupid grin on my face. Go on a few more dates and it's just more perfection. Thought this kind of stuff only happened in the movies. She was a RN. She had a 2 year old. Father was completely not in the picture. ( spoiler alert --- not so true ) It was just one of those mistakes... .and I could understand that... .and I liked the fact that there would be no baby daddy drama. She was smart and radiant. Talked about how awesome her family life is ( not so awesome btw )

Everything was looking absolutely fantastic. Now let me mention the sex. Crazy mind blowing sex. Some of it got kind of well, unorthodox for me - but I have an open mind. Made an unusual purchase of some crop whips and etc. Was a bit thrown off at her request to be sort of choked and called various derogatory names etc... .but you know... .if it made her happy... .


I have to do some really boring things at work, so my doc gave me an adderall script. Only fill it a few times a year. Don't care for it making me anxious and etc - but it's a life saver when I have a stack of docs I have to put together at work. I'm a little ADHD. I know this. People know this.


She moved in about 6 months later. Then I start noticing my adderall bottles getting depleted. I have a good idea it might be the only one person who knows I have it. I make a test. 20 pills in this bottle. Count them twice. 20. yes. 20. Now I wait. Next day. 12.

This story continues... .the good parts aren't even touched yet. I have to get ready for bed.

[SuperJew82]

Ok. Decided not to leave you hanging and go straight to the main points - even though I could write a novel about this.

What she does:

Criticizes... .I mean really criticizes, me for taking these prescribed meds. Tells me I should stop and see another doc. I confront her ( very compassionately ) about the missing pills. I tell her that if she has a problem we can work together and i can keep these pills at work. Denies it with all her might. Even tells me she thinks it might be her sister. I know better. My ex did the same thing. She would hide them in little pill bottles in her purse. I've seen Marie carry little motrin bottles in her purse. After she goes to bed, I grab the little bottle out of her purse... .and to no surprise, there they are. She admits stealing them. I tell her we have to talk tomorrow about this. Next day, she tells me that was actually a test to see how dependent I am on them. I tell her to get out... .get your

s**t and get out... .I was going to work with you... .but there is no hope.

I eventually forgive her and she comes back. Her phone bings in the middle of the night a little too often. I've never met any of her friends which is odd I think. I'm a big nerd, and even I have a good set of friends. She seems cooler than I am... .so I dunno. I notice it's the name of her baby daddy. I ask her... .can i see what a convo with him looks like... .she hands me the phone and I scroll up and speedread months of flirtatious banter back and fourth... .she even visits him at his palce ( well his mom's place ) he is a 25 year old skinny gangster wanna be who lives with his mom and doesn't have a working car.

I'm like... .whhhaaaaaatttt

[Mattsacre]

Keeeeeeep gooing!

[Lonely_Astro]

I'm still waiting for the surprise twist... .

Then again, I spent the last year in a r/s with a BPD, so the bar is pretty high in the "surprise twist" category.  I hope OP can deliver 

[Scopikaz]

Ok. I'm hooked. Lol