Just Get It Over With...

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I know it's wrong, but I feel envious of the numerous "she contacted me" threads going on right now.

I have not heard from my exgfw/BPD in almost a year. Statistically, she shows up every 8.4 months. Like Yellowstone, her eruption is overdue.

And I wish she'd get it over with.

I can't imagine she is in a good state of mind. She claims I've ruined her life, and unfortunately, she's partially correct. The court order caused her to lose the only steady job she's ever had. Messages included within the court docs presumably ruined her relationship with her family, as even her own sister threw her under the bus. Looking back, things got real ugly, and I would not be surprised if she's still jobless and mostly isolated aside from online dating flings.

On the flipside, I get to spend the year driving race cars. At some point, she'll discover this and see it as a great injustice that MUST be rectified. In her eyes, the guy that ruined her life gets to live out his dream, while she sits on Facebook crying to her beta orbiters. An outburst is on the horizon. Normal people can't handle this well, either.

And I wish it would happen soon. The last thing I want is for my phone to be lighting up while at the track. I feel prepared to deal with her NOW. In three months? It will be a frustrating distraction.

[.cup.car]

I know it's wrong, but I feel envious of the numerous "she contacted me" threads going on right now.

I have not heard from my exgfw/BPD in almost a year. Statistically, she shows up every 8.4 months. Like Yellowstone, her eruption is overdue.

And I wish she'd get it over with.

I can't imagine she is in a good state of mind. She claims I've ruined her life, and unfortunately, she's partially correct. The court order caused her to lose the only steady job she's ever had. Messages included within the court docs presumably ruined her relationship with her family, as even her own sister threw her under the bus. Looking back, things got real ugly, and I would not be surprised if she's still jobless and mostly isolated aside from online dating flings.

On the flipside, I get to spend the year driving race cars. At some point, she'll discover this and see it as a great injustice that MUST be rectified. In her eyes, the guy that ruined her life gets to live out his dream, while she sits on Facebook crying to her beta orbiters. An outburst is on the horizon. Normal people can't handle this well, either.

And I wish it would happen soon. The last thing I want is for my phone to be lighting up while at the track. I feel prepared to deal with her NOW. In three months? It will be a frustrating distraction.

[zeus123]

make sure you turn your phone off while at the track and don't worry about her, just keep driving forward to the future and forget the past!.