Do you think pwBPD ever get better?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I firmly believe that people with BPD can get better.

I also firmly believe that people with BPD can get worse throughout their lives.

The dilemma each of us faces is that we can't know which of those scenarios will be true for our personal pwBPD.

[flourdust]

I firmly believe that people with BPD can get better.

I also firmly believe that people with BPD can get worse throughout their lives.

The dilemma each of us faces is that we can't know which of those scenarios will be true for our personal pwBPD.

[JQ]

Group,

There is no blanket statement that can be said for someone with BPD will or will not get better. There are endless possibilities of additional situations that need to be factored into the equation.  Things such as comorbidity such as NPD, PTSD, or a number of others or any combination there of.   You need to take into account the severity of each symptoms of the mental illness ... .and make no mistake this is a mental illness that has physical defects of the brain at the core of the diagnosis.  You need to take into account if your respective BPD is self aware and willing to actively participate in her or his own behavior modification of DPT, CBT, Schema-focused therapy, or a 1/2 dozen others behavioral therapy & possible mood stabilizing meds, antidepressants / anxiety meds or a combination of them. And then you have to factor in any number of Ph.d's, therapist, clinical physiologist over years of ongoing "talk therapy".

BUT!  Because BPD is rooted in a physical defects within the brain ... .at the current time there is no medicine or surgery that can correct this physical defect. The BEST one can hope for is to "MANAGE"  the BPD behavior for the rest of their life. And everyone has their own definition of what "successful management of behavior" looks like.  Yes there can be "improvement" of behavior ... .but never truly "cured".

Don't mistake my comments here ... .I truly wish that BPD would never have existed ... .it is an incredible destructive and horrible mental illness that will never end. BPD has an incredible cost to it ... .the destroyed life's of families after years of destructive behavior. Sons & daughters that will be forever damaged in some way shape or form from the parents breaking up because one is BPD ... .then because it can be passed on in the genes of the BPD parent will they be able to live a "normal life" without the destructive nature of BPD within themselves.  The destructive nature of this mental illness can be physical as well ... .a lifetime of self injury, self harm, self destructive behavior to include substance abuse, alcohol abuse, multiple sexual encounters that can lead to STDs or worse one that will kill you.  Then there is the cost of mental anguish the BPD will suffer for the rest of his/her life.  I really would like to believe my exBPDgf could be "cured"  ... .or my BPD stepmother / stepsister ... .but I'm a realist.  NO amount of praying, wishing, wanting, loving, caring for the person will "cure" them ... .

So the real question is to YOU the person who has a BPD r/s ... .What are your personal limits to live with someone who has a mental illness that is so destructive to not only them, but the rest of the personal r/s i.e. sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, & most importantly YOU?  At what cost to your mental & physical health are you willing to pay?

J 

[Lucky Jim]

So the real question is to YOU the person who has a BPD r/s ... .What are your personal limits to live with someone who has a mental illness that is so destructive to not only them, but the rest of the personal r/s i.e. sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, & most importantly YOU?  At what cost to your mental & physical health are you willing to pay?

Fair question, JQ.  The price is high.  Too high for some of us (read: me).  LuckyJim

[tryingsome]

A couple of things to point out about the science.

First while there seems to be evidence of brain abnormalities it is very difficult to pin the cause and relationship. Most of the hypothesis on what they find is happening differs from what is expected.

Second it is very common for people with brain abnormalities to be able to retire their own brain. So while things may initially be deficient with dedicated work it is possible to reword the brain maybe my fully but partial improvement can happen.

[Stolen]

Yes - the "price".  I've made good and bad investments, I can live with the bad. But my daughters never had a choice to invest, and they are reaping the bitter harvest of being the next generation of this disorder. The frustration of waiting/hoping for your SO to "come around" is mouse nuts compared to watching your children start down the rabbit hole. 

[teapay]

Science may never elucidate the brain mechanism behind BPD but I've definitely come be believe classic BPD is a brain disorder.  The severity of symptoms may wax and wane based on what is happening in the BPD's life, but recovery from classic BPD is highly unlikely because it is biologically based.  My W has been in therapy and on meds for years, has been dx BPD and knows she has BPD, all with alittle impact.  While the stigma of BPD has lessened somewhat due to the emergence and promotion of DBT, there is still a strong stigma associated with BPD among Ts who often refuse treat them because of the difficulties of working with them and their recalcitrance toward recovery.  I think that is quite telling.  My W has been terminated by Ts for those very reasons. 

One of my Ds is just approaching her teens and is in therapy for some BPD-like symptoms, similar but certainly not as bad as my W.  She's still young. I'm hoping it is just growing up and living in a house where BPD is present and that it resolves.   I feel bad for her because  if she actually develops BPD her life is pretty much toast.