How can I grow this relationship

[Ms.Perfect]

Hi everyone

Can to tell me please , how to make guy with BPD fall in love with me? is it possible?

and if he already in love - how will I understand ?

He had a GF- but he is saying it is not serious at all with her.

He told me sometimes he HATES me , but 2 hrs later he can tell me I LOVE you!

Now I told him that I can not be his GF because I need serious relationships. Offered to be just friends.

I also told him - I care for him very much. And in the end I told- Do not LEAVE me! I wanted to make sure he will not be scared that I might do that. Right after those words he gave me the strongest hugs!

He didn't say a word! may be he didn't want to? or he couldn't?

But I could see the thunderstorm of emotions in his eyes. It was so breathtaking for me!

I think I did many things to make him love me… best in time , best intellectual conversations , not boring, and very positive happy   time together. I always love to give ppl good mood

what else... ahh I look hot (at least I think that way) as VS model look. trying my best.  I am a perfectionist.

Very charming, charismatic and person

Please tell me, any advice would be nice  How to make him love me strong! Or how to forget him! He is on my mind 24/7 I am TIRED. I think I got some kind of addiction to him.

I want to win his heart ! Is it possible?

what need to say, to do?  

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[C.Stein]

Welcome.  

The first and most important lesson you will ever learn about relationships is ... .you cannot make someone love you.  Be his friend first and foremost.  Friendship is a cornerstone to any successful relationship.   If there is something more there then it will surface.  

This is the only advise I have to give you.  Educate yourself on BPD, what it is and what you may/will face in a relationship with someone who suffers from this disorder.  Once your eyes are completely open you can make decisions based on rational and logical thought.  

[Ms.Perfect]

about… "you can not make someone fall in love" It is RIGHT BUT…...

You can helo to push someone to fall in love  ppl want to find love and with little help the chances are bigger

What guys need in women? Being attractive, interesting, giving him very good and positive time together, unforgettable sex not boring different, EMOTIONS, openness, Charm, good eye contact, not fake interest in HIM! and love bombing etc… some other thing long list.

but better do it not intentionally or it could be FAKE and guys can feel it.

So it is possible I did it successfully in my life.  Actually I had to to opposite sometimes I didn't need broken hearts around me. I wanted to make 1 man happy, not everyone.

And didn't need to win a lot of guys, just 1 i like.

[C.Stein]

There is more to a person than what is on the surface.  Beware of making life changing decisions based on the superficial aspects of a person as they are fleeting at best.

[Skip]

He told me sometimes he HATES me... .

What makes him feel this way?

He had a GF- but he is saying it is not serious at all with her.

He told me sometimes he HATES me , but 2 hrs later he can tell me I LOVE you!

Now I told him that I can not be his GF because I need serious relationships. Offered to be just friends.

Can you explain more about what is going on in the relationship and what you are most concerned with.

Are you saying that you love him, he says he loves you, but you broke up because he has also has another girlfriend?  Is your concern that he is seeing someone else while he is seeing you?

How long have you been dating? How would you describe the relationship?

[Ms.Perfect]

He told me sometimes he HATES me... .

What makes him feel this way?[/quote]
Because I do not want to be his lover  I am not ready even if I want him. I need to know him better. Better know better find out about BPD , and now more mentally stoping myself from relationships with him or any intim.

we had several kisses and I didn't let him kiss me so he said I hate you.

But  hour or so later he whispered - I love you, I think he didn't want me to hear it. Because I was talking very intensively in that moment.

Can you explain more about what is going on in the relationship and what you are most concerned with.

Are you saying that you love him, he says he loves you, but you broke up because he has also has another girlfriend?  Is your concern that he is seeing someone else while he is seeing you?

How long have you been dating? How would you describe the relationship?

I know him 3 months . I do not love him. But I have a big interest in him. It is just like a new exciting wave for surfer

Love is more deep more serious, I do not believe I can deeply fall in love in 3 months, I do not have pink glasses on my eyes.

That's why i very fast noticed about BPD even i have never met anyone with BPD before. And didn't know about that at all.

Just very curious about ppl , especially when I am very interested want to know everything

He has GF, he told me he can leave her for me. But beause i do not get in relationships with him, He doesn't want to be alone and she is comfortable for him + intim with her. And beside she is very sweet cute girl, just not as breathtaking as me. Of source should be some soul connection . I assume that they do not have it.  As he alsway running to me as soon he has some time.

So I After I put some seriouse thoughts to it (after reading here some stories) I know it is not a good idea to get involved with him.

He has his GF and best for me if he will put all his concentration on her.

He told me I am the woman he was dreaming about. Perfect match from his dreams. So when he sees me it is difficult for him fact that i do not want to be with him, that there is no future for us.

may be it was idealization fase. But I do belive I easy can be the dream girl for someone very hot, smart, highly educated , successful, interesting ---> and as I heard here (have bood narcissistic traits) may be that too.