The Fight of my life

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So I am new to this board, and I thought that I would take a few moments to share what is going on in my life.

My ex wife seems to have one more the more sever cases of BPD, just comparing to some of the threads that I have seen on here. But long story short we were together for 7 years ( I tried to make it work for the kids until staying with her literally made me crazy and I spent a week in the hospital).

After that I moved from California back to my home state of Texas. She had primary custody of the kids mostly due to my ignorance of the California legal system and frankly my lack of money. She was getting a little over 1800 dollars a month in child support from me and if you ask her it wasn't nearly enough.

Well fast forward to January 2015, during one of my visits out to see my children in January of 2015 my new wife and I were asleep with my three children on the adjacent bed in our hotel room when my phone rings at exactly midnight. It was her and she was all panicked asking for me to come pick her up because her boyfriend just hit her. My pregnant wife (is a saint) got dressed found her and brought her back to the hotel. Then she explained that she just wanted to go to her parents home, so once again my pregnant wife took her to her parents house where she immediately took off running down the street and back to her apartment.

The next morning she calls me an asks me not to bring the kids back to the apartment for a few days because of her black eye.   I explained to her that if she didn't leave him I was going to call CPS. She lied through her teeth to me and told me that she left him and that all was well. Well now it is June 2015 and I am having a pleasant Saturday with my wife. My phone had died late Friday night and I didn't think much to charge it. Well when I do it explodes with tons of facebook messages from friends asking me what is going on and if I was the one driving the van.

Come to find out the ex was still with that abusive boyfriend. They had gone to a lake party somewhere in California with the kids and both decided to get wasted and high on meth. On the way back drunk and high on meth they got in to an argument and the boyfriend starts hitting my ex in front of the kids while driving. A passing motorist sees this and calls the police. When the cops try to pull this guy over he takes them on a high speed car chase for an hour with my 3 kids and his child in the back seat. The vehicle is brought to a safe stop he is arrested and my children are instantly the in the custody of California.

Well my ex and her mother swore to California Child Protective Services (CCPS) that I was no longer in the kids lives so they never attempted to contact me and through a " clerical" error in the courts they told me I have given all of my legal and physical custody to my ex. That and add on all of the other crazy she spewed ( she tried to say I sexually abused my daughters and beat my son) to them when I asserted my parental rights and made it clear I was coming to get my children.

So court hearing after court hearing and trip after expensive trip to California, I finally get the state of CA to open their eyes and see that I am not the bad guy. I get liberalized visitation with my children when I fly in to visit and mandatory Skype calls with them 3 times a week. Well this does not sit well with the grandfather ( sorry forgot to mention the maternal grandparents were chosen to watch my children while the court makes a decision. Real smart huh put them with the people that through there parenting produced their mother) He has taken every opportunity to try and deny me my rights by not answering the phone when I call my kids, or by not even making my children available then telling me it is all my fault I didn't try to make contact with them.

Now most recently he has stepped up his game along with my ex and is complaining to the social worker and her supervisor of bias towards me and making physical threats towards myself in front of my children while I am trying to talk to them on skype. I have made complaint after complain after complaint to CCPS but they are so slow to move or do anything at all I am growing so very frustrated. To make things even more fun I also have to deal with Texas CPS in conjunction with California.  CA still as not made a final judgment and the judge stated that the last court date on the matter will be in August and if nothing can be decided by then my children will be put up for adoption. What the heck I am working full time married to a practicing Doctor in a 4 bedroom 3,000 square foot home in a good neighborhood. My ex is living in a halfway house unemployed and hasn't held a job since 2006 and my kids are with the maternal grandparents all three of them sharing a bedroom (10B,7G,4G) I am ready to pull my hair. If you made it this far thank you for listening to my rant. (sigh)

[Survivor83]

So I am new to this board, and I thought that I would take a few moments to share what is going on in my life.

My ex wife seems to have one more the more sever cases of BPD, just comparing to some of the threads that I have seen on here. But long story short we were together for 7 years ( I tried to make it work for the kids until staying with her literally made me crazy and I spent a week in the hospital).

After that I moved from California back to my home state of Texas. She had primary custody of the kids mostly due to my ignorance of the California legal system and frankly my lack of money. She was getting a little over 1800 dollars a month in child support from me and if you ask her it wasn't nearly enough.

Well fast forward to January 2015, during one of my visits out to see my children in January of 2015 my new wife and I were asleep with my three children on the adjacent bed in our hotel room when my phone rings at exactly midnight. It was her and she was all panicked asking for me to come pick her up because her boyfriend just hit her. My pregnant wife (is a saint) got dressed found her and brought her back to the hotel. Then she explained that she just wanted to go to her parents home, so once again my pregnant wife took her to her parents house where she immediately took off running down the street and back to her apartment.

The next morning she calls me an asks me not to bring the kids back to the apartment for a few days because of her black eye.   I explained to her that if she didn't leave him I was going to call CPS. She lied through her teeth to me and told me that she left him and that all was well. Well now it is June 2015 and I am having a pleasant Saturday with my wife. My phone had died late Friday night and I didn't think much to charge it. Well when I do it explodes with tons of facebook messages from friends asking me what is going on and if I was the one driving the van.

Come to find out the ex was still with that abusive boyfriend. They had gone to a lake party somewhere in California with the kids and both decided to get wasted and high on meth. On the way back drunk and high on meth they got in to an argument and the boyfriend starts hitting my ex in front of the kids while driving. A passing motorist sees this and calls the police. When the cops try to pull this guy over he takes them on a high speed car chase for an hour with my 3 kids and his child in the back seat. The vehicle is brought to a safe stop he is arrested and my children are instantly the in the custody of California.

Well my ex and her mother swore to California Child Protective Services (CCPS) that I was no longer in the kids lives so they never attempted to contact me and through a " clerical" error in the courts they told me I have given all of my legal and physical custody to my ex. That and add on all of the other crazy she spewed ( she tried to say I sexually abused my daughters and beat my son) to them when I asserted my parental rights and made it clear I was coming to get my children.

So court hearing after court hearing and trip after expensive trip to California, I finally get the state of CA to open their eyes and see that I am not the bad guy. I get liberalized visitation with my children when I fly in to visit and mandatory Skype calls with them 3 times a week. Well this does not sit well with the grandfather ( sorry forgot to mention the maternal grandparents were chosen to watch my children while the court makes a decision. Real smart huh put them with the people that through there parenting produced their mother) He has taken every opportunity to try and deny me my rights by not answering the phone when I call my kids, or by not even making my children available then telling me it is all my fault I didn't try to make contact with them.

Now most recently he has stepped up his game along with my ex and is complaining to the social worker and her supervisor of bias towards me and making physical threats towards myself in front of my children while I am trying to talk to them on skype. I have made complaint after complain after complaint to CCPS but they are so slow to move or do anything at all I am growing so very frustrated. To make things even more fun I also have to deal with Texas CPS in conjunction with California.  CA still as not made a final judgment and the judge stated that the last court date on the matter will be in August and if nothing can be decided by then my children will be put up for adoption. What the heck I am working full time married to a practicing Doctor in a 4 bedroom 3,000 square foot home in a good neighborhood. My ex is living in a halfway house unemployed and hasn't held a job since 2006 and my kids are with the maternal grandparents all three of them sharing a bedroom (10B,7G,4G) I am ready to pull my hair. If you made it this far thank you for listening to my rant. (sigh)

[ForeverDad]

Wow.  So sorry about all that.  I'm heading out now but others will be by later to join in.

Would you like this thread moved to our Family Law board?  It seems what you primarily have are legal issues dealing with court and CPS, also issues with the ex-in-laws.

First, take a few breaths.  Please be understanding if you've already applied some of the suggestions and strategies we may send you.

If she was using meth before, she's probably still using it or there ought to be residue in the tests used to detect drug abuse.  Really, that is a big factor on your side.  Does ex have to submit to periodic drug tests?  Do you get access to the results or only the court?

Generally parents have more rights than the grandparents.  I believe that state does grant visitation rights if the parents aren't married, but that would not be to replace the parents.  So legally you should have more rights to raise the children than the GPs do.  However, they've been with the GPs for a while and it's possible the court's delays are aiding the GPs since a judge may reason they don't want to 'upset' the children by making big changes.  Still, you as parent ought to have more rights than the GPs.

What's the current status of the "clerical" error about you giving up parental rights?  Are you past that?  At the least it can establish that the ex and her mother (currently raising the children) are willing to lie (and have lied) to obstruct your parenting.  That's a part of the History.

I agree, your son should have a room separate from the girls.  Include that as another reason why the children would be better living with you.

DOCUMENT all incidents of blocking, obstruction, anything that might be noteworthy and affect your parenting or the case.

So in 5 months the case will be decided?  Since CCPS isn't responding, is it before the court that you want the children in your care ASAP and preferably not wait until summer?  Why is there a delay for so long?  Are they hoping the mother recovers and is able to take the kids back?  Is there anything lacking in documentation filed with the court about your stability, ability and willingness to be the primary parent?

Do you have a capable lawyer there?  Have you browsed Bill Eddy's site? He's a social worker, lawyer, writer, lecturer, etc.  Get the essential handbook, Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  Maybe his site www.HighConflictInstitute.com can refer you to some proactive and experienced lawyers in that area.

[david]

I would talk to several Calif attorneys to find out how things are done there. Maybe talk to a few Texas attorneys to find out if that helps in any way.

If I knew what I know now about the legal system in my state I would have accomplished a lot more in a lot less time.

[livednlearned]

A lot of us do things that make common sense, and that inadvertently make our cases worse. It's important to go over everything you've done to see if you can find patterns. An example can be telling the court that your ex did this and that, and you told her to report to CPS, and she didn't. Instead of her being blamed, court blames you for not calling CPS. Then, when negative advocates like the grandparents get in there and make accusations, you are in a one-down position.

In my case, the three things that made a difference were the judge, my lawyer, and help from people here.

Your lawyer should understand exactly what your goals are (full custody?) and have a strategy with tactics, like depositions, interrogatories, custody evaluation, psychiatric evaluation. Have any of those things been proposed? I would start with trying to figure out if there's any way to get a different judge, if that's even possible. A judge that suggests adoption as a plausible strategy is not a judge you want on your case.

Court is not a fair place. You have to learn the game and then work the rules in your favor.

[Survivor83]

So this is an update to my rant I posted yesterday. It came to my attention that because my ex was not getting her demands met through the social workers she decided that the only way to get her way was to file Sexual Abuse charges against me with the police. The social worker was not very clear about the allegations but she has alleged something aong the lines of inappropriate screen names on my kids skype account. This is the 4th time she has made allegations along these lines and all were investegated and found unsubstantiated.  Anyone have any advice?

[SES]

I have faced a range of allegations from my ex over the last two years, but nothing as upsetting as this.  You have been so strong through this.  My thoughts are with you.  Have you taken legal advice?

[livednlearned]

You need a good lawyer. Do you have one?

If you have been accused 4 times and those allegations were found unsubstantiated, do you have documentation you can bring to court?

4 times is a lot. What does your lawyer say? If my ex did this, I would start looking into harassment charges.

Sometimes, the best way to deal with this is to get assertive and pro-active. Like having a custody evaluation done so that you have third-party testimonial as to the fitness of both parents.

Why is Texas CPS involved?

[david]

I was charged with assault by my ex. It was a false allegation and I figured it was just another wasted trip to court. My atty had a court stenographer at the pre trial hearing (not sure if that is the correct term). The trial was months later. My atty asked my ex six questions that she had asked in the pre trial hearing. Ex answered them all very differently. My atty then showed ex and the court where the questions came from, the pretrial hearing. My atty asked ex why her answers were so different from before. My ex simply stated that she hadn't looked over her notes and that she forgot what happened. I thought for sure I would be going home shortly after that. I wound up in jail for two weeks and was found guilty of disorderly conduct.

You need a good attorney. I would also look into charging ex for the 4 times. I don't know what charges could be filed but I would go after her. That would be establishing a boundary for her and may stop future bs in that direction. It also would help you, potentially, in the future.

My ex called CPS on me one time and I gave the investigator emails from my ex and all other kinds of information. I let ex know what I was doing too. She doesn't like being exposed and she never tried that again.

[ForeverDad]

She is like a kid in the back of the class throwing spitballs against the blackboard trying to see if at least some of them will stick.

She is like the person who keeps reporting smoke and the fire department searches diligently since "where there's smoke surely there must be a fire hidden somewhere."

She is like the person who repeatedly calls emergency 911 claiming 'Fire!' and the fire department having to respond every time.  The difference is that false reporting of fires will eventually bring consequences in the form of charges, bill assessments, perhaps more.  But with child abuse or neglect or endangerment allegations, there are seldom consequences since the system presumes the reporter is ethical and does not want to discourage later reports.

So what she is (or they are) doing is abusing the system of protections for children.  Without consequences the unethical persons are emboldened to make additional but slightly different allegations.

While you can claim Harassment or Obstruction of your parenting, courts and agencies are inclined to go slowly.  Not only is she the Mother, often given default preference, but once the the children were placed with grandparents (handling the 'emergency' situation) then everything slowed down to the procedural pace of the system.  Also, courts too often assume the Fathers are willing to be background parents.  As in, mothers get the kids and the fathers open their wallets.

As much as possible, phrase your motions for (1) the children's best interests primarily and then (2) your parenting being enabled and not obstructed.

This latest claim about the children's usernames on social pages almost surely won't rise to the level of being 'actionable'.  Your stance should be that (1) it isn't really an 'actionable' issue and (2) the purpose is to smear you and obstruct your parenting.

Your goal should be to expose her behaviors, behavior patterns, maneuvers and obstructions.  Over time — eventually — your obstructionists should lose some credibility.  Though you know her allegations to be false, the system is set up to use passive words such as "unsubstantiated" or very rarely "unfounded".  Only once did I get court to write that a part of her testimony was "not credible".  That's mild court-speak for Liar.

In my case, we had been married for about 15 years and my then-spouse started off with a mild allegation when we separated.  In court CPS stood up and stated they had "no concerns" about me.  Still, she tried to argue with other allegations.  She used child counseling sessions to make allegations which effectively blocked me from involvement, it took a year to get a court order to see the session records, evidently the first time ever ordered in my county, my lawyer said other lawyers called him asking how he got that order.  She went to children's hospital ER and the regional child abuse center try to get anything to stick to me.  Her pattern was to slickly say, "my son told me... ."  Too bad he was so young he didn't know to lie.  The worst (prison-wise) I'm aware of is when she claimed his bottom itches were {won't write here} but he didn't confirm (medical notes noted he said he wanted to see his dad more) and so they made an empirical diagnosis and gave her a prescription for pinworms to address the "itching".   Imagine how much she had to change... .from spouse and lover in the prior decade to someone willing to send me to prison in an orange jumpsuit for perhaps a decade or more just to block my parenting. :'(

I could go on and on with even more allegations over the years.  Often I could almost predict them when (1) she had made a major blooper and was desperate to make me look worse than her or (2) a hearing was looming and she wanted a paper to wave around accusing me in court.

Though my lawyer was a go-with-the-flow lawyer and reluctant to venture out of the standard format, he did have to become a more proactive lawyer and be more aggressive as a problem solver since her obstructions didn't reduce by much until (1) I eventually got majority time and (2) he was a preteen.

[ugghh]

Survivor, welcome to the board and thank you for sharing your story.

This is a good place to rant, because many of us have lived through similar nightmares, including false arrests, being accused of the most deviant things, and yet have lived to see a better day.  It sounds like you have a made a better life for yourself and it would be great if your kids could join you.

That being said, you have to understand that the legal system is slow and frustrating.   You need to have an experienced attorney who you are comfortable working with to survive the process.  Sit down and make long and short range goals of what you hope to accomplish.

Document, document, document.

It sounds like based on your situation you are well suited to play the long game here. You have a stable life and the financial resources.  Use that to your advantage.   There are several members who have taken 2 plus years to get custody of their kids.  The key is consistency - with the ex, the grandparent and even your own attorney.  

[Survivor83]

Thank you all for your support. I do currently have legal representation and he is doing well for me since my ex is doing nothing but to sink her own ship. As far as why this is dragging out so long California keeps giving her chance after chance.to get her life together. To address the question of do I have documentation to set precident for harrasment. Yes, yes I do in spades because of the investigation department of CPS I have a 3 inch thick file of allegations reports and findings.

[david]

I started "winning" after my ex kept giving me more and more ammo. Also, a big help for me was to minimize my communication. That triggered ex into extinction bursts and that provided me with more evidence. I started , in 2007, with EOW and two weeks in the summer. I have 50/50 as of two and a half years ago. It is a slow process but things started changing for the better when I came into court with piles of evidence.

I learned that evidence must be presented as evidence. It is a process in court and slows things down. Judges and attorneys don't like it because of that. However, judges must make their rulings based on the evidence. Paper evidence holds more weight then verbal testimony. That was one of the big changes for me.

My attorney once had a pile that was literally four inches tall. The top sheet summarized underneath. My attorney handed to the judge and the judge handed to opposing counsel. It was then that ex either agreed with the top sheet or we went over the entire thing. Ex knew that would have pissed the judge off big time and she also knew everything was true. She agreed with the top sheet and that was introduced as evidence. That is one way to play the game.

[WalkingAway]

Wow, I really feel bad for you and your kids and I cannot imagine your frustration. I unfortunately don’t have to mush advice for you, expect for you to hold on and don’t give up. There seem to be many stories here where people win in the long run, and like you say, your ex is only digging her hole deeper.

Even though the grandparents don’t seem like good people at all I at least hope the kids are better of with them than with their mom and her boyfriend…

[Thunderstruck]

Thank you all for your support. I do currently have legal representation and he is doing well for me since my ex is doing nothing but to sink her own ship. As far as why this is dragging out so long California keeps giving her chance after chance.to get her life together. To address the question of do I have documentation to set precident for harrasment. Yes, yes I do in spades because of the investigation department of CPS I have a 3 inch thick file of allegations reports and findings.

I used to be a GAL in dependency court, so I've seen these sorts of things play out.

The ultimate goal of CPS and dependency court is to get the kids reunited with their parent. That's why they set up a plan for the parent. Your x is probably doing regular random drug screens, DV counseling, etc etc. If she follows the plan, she can get her kids back. If she doesn't follow the plan, CPS might recommend that the mother's rights be terminated. From there, her case plan will be closed. The whole process usually takes a year or two.

You will probably need to step in through family court to get your rights asserted. This is where you would need a lawyer, because I don't know how the two would intertwine.

CPS probably doesn't want to place the kids with you in another state because they can't monitor the kids there very well and they need to as part of their process. Also, there's the issue of the evil you know (mom) versus you, the evil they don't know. (To use the phrase, I don't mean that I think you're evil   )

[livednlearned]

Thunderstruck raises a good point about two parallel bureaucratic processes running simultaneously, maybe not talking to each other. Don't assume that your lawyer, even if he/she is good, is advocating for you and fully understanding the complexity of things. I had an excellent lawyer and still made it my business to figure out how the system works. I had to teach her to not make backroom deals, for example, and she learned to be above board with me and treat me like a peer once I got a hang of the system. It's not because they are bad people, only that they have a tendency to color inside the lines -- their lines, their professional way of doing things. Sometimes you have to connect the dots for them and raise some holy h3ll when it looks like things are getting weird.

On a side note about GALs. Quality can vary widely, like any third-party professional, but maybe even more so because GALs are (at least where I live) typically volunteers who are there often with little to no training other than a noble desire to help kids. In my state, and in particular my county, GAL training is laughable and screening is downright shocking. It seems that if you want to volunteer, they'll take you. In the beginning of my case, my L was determined to avoid having a GAL involved because the professional standards were so low. Add to that, GALs can have a lot of power swaying the court's opinion.

Same thing with any third-party professional. Get up in their business as much as possible. They have way too much power in our cases, so it's important to know their credentials and pick ones who are ethical. A lot of people get into the business of "therapeutic jurisprudence" because it's a steady stream of cash, often court-ordered. In my area, there are a surprising number of parenting coordinators (who have an extension of judicial authority) who graduated from for-profit universities that only teach forensic psych. It costs them over $100K to go to schools with questionable reputations, and then these people flood the court systems with very little quality clinical training and virtually no ethics training.

Sorry for the rant. It's so important that we understand how the whole system works so that we don't get scorched by it. The only person I trusted in my four-year journey through court is me. Everyone else I assumed had a different agenda than mine. I treated them with respect, meanwhile I researched as much as I could to make sure my ignorance (or theirs) didn't screw things up more than they already were.

Make the process work for you!

[Thunderstruck]

On a side note about GALs. Quality can vary widely, like any third-party professional, but maybe even more so because GALs are (at least where I live) typically volunteers who are there often with little to no training other than a noble desire to help kids. In my state, and in particular my county, GAL training is laughable and screening is downright shocking. It seems that if you want to volunteer, they'll take you. In the beginning of my case, my L was determined to avoid having a GAL involved because the professional standards were so low. Add to that, GALs can have a lot of power swaying the court's opinion.

Should I take offense to this?   

[livednlearned]

On a side note about GALs. Quality can vary widely, like any third-party professional, but maybe even more so because GALs are (at least where I live) typically volunteers who are there often with little to no training other than a noble desire to help kids. In my state, and in particular my county, GAL training is laughable and screening is downright shocking. It seems that if you want to volunteer, they'll take you. In the beginning of my case, my L was determined to avoid having a GAL involved because the professional standards were so low. Add to that, GALs can have a lot of power swaying the court's opinion.

Should I take offense to this?   

My apologies, Thunderstruck. I didn't mean it personally -- the same can be said of lawyers, GALs, PCs, therapists, judges. I know in some states PCs have a lot of power and no training. In my state, there is apparently more rigor in becoming a PC but barely any training to become a GAL. So quality and screening can vary a lot by state, too.

Honestly, if everyone in the legal system understood PDs, it would probably be a game-changer.

You clearly have those stripes. 

[Thunderstruck]

On a side note about GALs. Quality can vary widely, like any third-party professional, but maybe even more so because GALs are (at least where I live) typically volunteers who are there often with little to no training other than a noble desire to help kids. In my state, and in particular my county, GAL training is laughable and screening is downright shocking. It seems that if you want to volunteer, they'll take you. In the beginning of my case, my L was determined to avoid having a GAL involved because the professional standards were so low. Add to that, GALs can have a lot of power swaying the court's opinion.

Should I take offense to this?   

My apologies, Thunderstruck. I didn't mean it personally -- the same can be said of lawyers, GALs, PCs, therapists, judges. I know in some states PCs have a lot of power and no training. In my state, there is apparently more rigor in becoming a PC but barely any training to become a GAL. So quality and screening can vary a lot by state, too.

Honestly, if everyone in the legal system understood PDs, it would probably be a game-changer.

You clearly have those stripes. 

No offense taken! I was just ribbing you. 

But yes, as a GAL I was a volunteer "off the street" with about 30 hours of training (I think it was two Thursday/Fridays in a row ~8 hours each day). Prior to that I had no experience in dependency court. In court hearings it would always be the CPS person and their L on one side, the parent and their L on the other. Then right in the middle is the GAL (and the GAL L). We were supposed to be the unbiased person, the one who doesn't have an agenda (or our "agenda" is focused primarily on the children and what is the best for them). The judge would definitely listen to and consider my opinion (along with the opinion of CPS and the statement from the parent), but would not always follow it blindly.

Survivor83, is a GAL appointed to their case? Have you spoken with them?

In my experience, CPS workers all seem to just by default assume that everyone is lying. GALs, however, are less jaded "normal" people that you might be able to calmly talk to and outline the situation. CPS usually have MANY case files and are overworked, but GALs typically have one or two case files at a time.

I also had zero knowledge of PDs when I was a GAL. This was before I met DH and had the "pleasure" of learning about BPD firsthand from uBPDbm. Instead of labeling your BPDx, you might need to focus on the behaviors and how they have harmed the kids. (making false accusations of abuse against you harms the kids!).

I remember when I had first started dating DH and uBPDbm was doing some really nasty acting out behaviors. I met with my GAL supervisor and I told her about the situation and I asked her "what happens if uBPDbm makes a false allegation of child abuse against us?". Lo and behold, a year and a half later CPS came knocking on our door twice (once for drugs and once for sexual abuse charges) and uBPDbm tried to file two restraining orders claiming we tried to kidnap SD.    False accusations are not the end of the world. They are difficult to go through, yes, but when each and every one is ruled "unsubstantiated", it really makes BPDmom look bad.

[ForeverDad]

I had a GAL, twice, who was supposed to be the best.  She was a lawyer (hint: settlements preferred) in a regional children's advocacy agency.  She's on the board of an ABA children's newsletter.  From what I could find online, I think her expertise was not on children in family court as much as with delinquency court.  Well, she did recommend I get full custody as I had filed but wanted equal time to continue, hoping mother would not feel as entitled and behave better with child support.  (Ex never divulged her income but everyone 'imputed' it at minimum wage, so I was to pay her.)  Predictably, Ex didn't behave better, within a year I filed for majority time again and again went through a 17-18 month court case.  Second time around the GAL made better observations and better recommendations, though she didn't recommend much majority time for me.  The court tightened it up so ex got 25% time during school terms.

It was frustrating... .in 2005 when we separated we had two temp orders, both gave me 22% time for no reason other than I had a regular 5-day work schedule... .in 2013 court found that Mother disparaged Father in Child's presence and gave her 25% time during the school years and kept it at 50% time for summers - effectively more than 30% time.

[Thunderstruck]

I had a GAL, twice, who was supposed to be the best.  She was a lawyer (hint: settlements preferred) in a regional children's advocacy agency.  She's on the board of an ABA children's newsletter.  From what I could find online, I think her expertise was not on children in family court as much as with delinquency court.

I think GALs in family court tend to be lawyers, but GALs in dependency court are typically volunteers off the streets.

Dependency court and family court are quite different beasts.