So obviously she is talking to other guys and went out with other guys. I'm
Not naive enough to think otherwise. And the guy I think she is with again looks like a player at the bars and with the ladies. He is a little overweight as well. So I don't know what she sees in him.
It sounds like, because she is dating him, you THINK he might be better than you, right? NOT TRUE ... we all have what we perceive to have 'good' and 'not so good' qualities and characteristics ... perhaps you could be a little kinder to yourself and remind yourself of some of the things you like about you and work a little on changing the little things about you that niggle you ... we're all 'work in progress' Skopi & I haven't met anyone else in this world that has got all their stuff together despite external appearances. There is no shame being a 'being' that is making effort to better themselves.
But her and I used to walk by a park. It's a long path. We would start at beginning and walk a couple miles and walk back. Well a co worker saw her with a "pudgy guy who looked really young". Almost like a kid or teenager or a little older.
She was walking where we used to walk. (She never went there till we did)
First it makes me sick. Second I can't believe she would go where we used to knowing she might see me there. Turns out I was there on a date as well. But at a different starting point.
I'd just like to point out the contradiction in terms of double standards here and throughout your post. Because, what you are suggesting here is that you can go there on a date but she can't?
I really don't want to run into her. She lives in the next town over now. So there is no earthly reason for her to have been there.
I don't believe you Skopi ... I believe you do want to run in to her ... but surely you can recognise that going to places that you went to with her only serves to keep unhealed wounds open. In fairness, for whatever her reasons may be, she has just as much right to go where she wants, just like your right to go where you want ... this is another double standard at play here?
Was she hoping to see me there? Who knows.
Who knows? It might make you feel better about things by preferring to believe that she was. But, in reality, it isn't really backed up by facts is it?
Anyhow it saddens me. I love her so. I think we can all see that you have feelings for her Skopi ... I don't believe it is love though.
I can only speak for myself and like 'tryingsome' ... it's tough to know how to respond to someone, clearly in a great deal of emotional pain, without adding to that pain with what may be taken as harsh or critical comments.
Skopi ... please try. I'm pretty certain that, everyone who has followed your story is rooting for you and wanting to support you through this tough ordeal. I have watched as this lady has chipped away at your self-esteem and self-respect ... and, you've been complicit in this along with her. Time to STOP. Time to START believing that there is a better way and a better life awaiting for you ... this is not love Skopi ... it isn't.
Look in a mirror ... look deep into your own eyes and find your strength ... it's there if you look.
If you 'love' her ... let her go ... COMPLETELY. This will free up loads of space for you to give more kindly to yourself.
It is tough ... and sometimes it takes others to point out glaring mistakes that we are unaware that we're making, or the potential consequences that arise from them. Please don't lose your self respect ... because, unless you start treating yourself with respect, you'll find your own waning self-respect reflected back to you in others you interact with.
Best wishes ... you are loveable, you do have worth ... but you have to believe these things FIRST ... above and before all others. Your growth is proportionate to your effort ... time to invest in you.
