Is there a certain type of therapist I should get to help get over BPD GF break?

[whathappened2]

I think I am going to need professional help to get through this break up. It has completely destroyed me. She was horrible to me in so many ways, broke it off on my after a trumped up fight and then went right out with someone else. Yet a month later I am still missing her intently, wanting her back even though she is with someone else and treated me badly. see my post here https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=292021.0

Is there a specific kind of therapy that will help me? I went to a run of the mill therapist and he just said time will heal it but I feel like she has broken something in me and this is not going to just get better on it's own.

[Sunfl0wer]

My approach would be to find one that I feel I am compatible with and can trust. Our relationship, is sometimes more important than type.  I may actually look for one that specialized in DBT because, while I do not have a PD and require DBT, at least I could trust this person has a good likelihood to have experience with persons with BPD and will be more readily to grasp my experience from having had a SO pwBPD.

I have called therapists before and I like when they call me back to access a bit, ask questions and have given me a ten minute phone call to help us both decide if we may be a good fit for each other some.  If we decide that therapist may not be able to help me (insurance, or not trained in DBT, or whatever) then I like to ask if they have a recommendation for who in their field may be a better fit.  My best referrals for a T have come from a therapist.  They typically refer ones they have respect for, think are more skilled than they, or would send their own friends and family to.

[steelwork]

I truly believe it's a mistake to focus on your ex in looking for a therapist. Whether they are experts in BPD matters much less than their capacity for understanding and working with you. Generally, what matters is how good a therapist they are FOR YOU, because if the work is of any use it will lead you on an inner journey. I've seen here over and over that we end up finding the roots of our despair in our own histories.

[steelwork]

And to me a therapist who offers someone in emotional distress nostrums like "Time will heal it" is just a lousy therapist.