Closure idea I found has helped me

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Getting closure is an useless attempt because she will end up making you feel worse about the whole thing all over again. The only closure that you need to know is that this woman has a diseased mind that is making her act the way she is. You should be thankful that you are out of a relatonship on your way to recovery from this horrible experience.

[virtus]

Getting closure is an useless attempt because she will end up making you feel worse about the whole thing all over again. The only closure that you need to know is that this woman has a diseased mind that is making her act the way she is. You should be thankful that you are out of a relatonship on your way to recovery from this horrible experience.

[HarleypsychRN]

Closure seems to be a frequent need for we ex-partners of BPD individuals.

For me closure is coming in the form (and it is ongoing) of learning all I can about the disorder, not only from this board, but from professionally reviewed journals as well. Being in the profession does not make you immune in matters of the heart.

Once you have a better understanding of the disorder, what it is and the dynamics, you begin to understand more and not personalize.

I'll repeat this from a previous post on closure, make your own closure from knowing you did the best you could in the relationship, that you tried your hardest for your partner but at the end of the day, they could not overcome the disorder's effects on their interpersonal relationships.

[Rubies]

Closure for me was knowing it's BPD, he chooses BPD, and would continue to use me as his target as long as I let him.   Complete closure happened as I removed every hook from my flesh he thought he had in me and he could no longer jerk me around.   

He's out of my life.  I needed that before I could recover my health.