dodging a curveball

[adaw]

this was a new stunt. you are still young and very attractive. you must find someone who can love you the way you deserve. your mind is clear and you you deserve it. you are wasting your time on me. i hate you

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[Turkish]

So what was the dodge, no reply from you?

[Wrongturn1]

Yeah, I have been pitched this one multiple times before by my uBPDw (usually without the "i hate you" part).  I either ignore it or truthfully reply something along the lines of "I don't want anyone else; I only want you - let's focus on our future together."

[adaw]

yes i just kept quiet

[Grey Kitty]

If this is new, it is actually sounds like a very small hint of possible progress.

The nature of BPD is that people suffering from it have a horribly low self-image, truly believing that they have no reason to exist, and that they are completely unlovable (and consequently anybody who claims to love them or appears to is obviously lying, because they aren't lovable!)

And they can't face these feelings well, so instead they fall to defensive mechanisms like blaming others (i.e. you!) for all the things they wish they weren't feeling!

So... .the "good" part is that a crack is appearing in the facade, and she is showing you a hint of what is inside. This is just the barest hint of it, as it is still expressed all about you, not about her feelings... .but it is something.

If she is going to change anything, it has to start with acknowledging her own feelings.

Still... .it is just a hint. If you do see any more of it, perhaps you will have a chance to validate how she is feeling... .but in this case, I think your choice to stay quiet was a good one.

[adaw]

she went away for a few days to find us a flat. because of my injuries i cannot travel, she left me 9 meals and held my hand when she woke up before she left. at the door kissed me good bye. weird way to hate. hehe