New breakthrough crisis

[unicorn2014]

As some of you know I am having ptsd related insomnia. I've had it since my diagnosis, it is one half of my disorder. Recently, two nights ago, I had a four hour email exchange with  my father regarding my probate case. I had sent an email to my attorney as well as him since the attorney also includes him in the emails. He's the one who found the attorney. At any rate my father wanted to correct me on two things I said to my attorney, one being that his mother threatened suicide when he was a young child and two that he wasn't going to admit that my mother said my grandmother drank like a fish. My mother and my grandmother are the borderlines, my father is the narcissist.

At any rate tonight I tried a new drug to try to help me sleep because I was looking for one with less side effects.

No luck. I woke up after 2 hours after having vivid dreams that were a combination of my adolescence and the first years after my divorce as a single parent.

I don't currently have a therapist. I had the same therapist for 7 years, then I had another one for a year to finish my case, then last September I had 6 weeks of therapy to deal with a crisis I've covered on the conflicted board.

I am reading I don't have to make everything all better to help me as a parent. When my daughter was a child it was very hard for me. Now that she's a teenager its both easier because I'm stronger and harder because she's a substance abuser.

She's with a friend and her mom tonight so its safe for me to deal with this stuff. Yesterday when I woke up at 5:15 she was right there with me, had to go to the bathroom then asked me for antacid. Then she jumped in my bed at 6am asking if she could go out and watch the sunrise and telling me she wanted a sibling. She's an only child. Tonight I have the freedom to deal with this stuff in my mind.

I also have the book surviving a borderline parent.

I"m going to talk with my priest later this week because this stuff is so intense.

[Kwamina]

It is very unfortunate that you are still having sleeping problems. PTSD is quite a serious condition, you currently don't have a therapist but I believe you do visit a nurse. You currently are struggling and are planning to talk about these things with your priest. Have you ever talked to him before about your PTSD and the causes of your PTSD?

Th term 'breakthrough crisis' is used in the Survivor's Guide for adults who suffered childhood abuse. This crisis often becomes manifest through a flood of old memories, feelings and even physical sensations of the abuse people experienced. Do you believe these vivid dreams you are having are a sign of this new breakthrough crisis?

Often a breakthrough crisis is triggered by something. Based on several posts you have made, I think seeing your daughter as a teenager with her struggles, is definitely a trigger for you as you yourself have also said in other posts.

Do you feel like everything that is happening in your life, the situation with your daughter, the probate case and those intense dreams you are having, is leading you to new insights about the abuse you've experienced? Do you feel like you are breaking through to new and previously unexplored territory?

[unicorn2014]

It is very unfortunate that you are still having sleeping problems. PTSD is quite a serious condition, you currently don't have a therapist but I believe you do visit a nurse. You currently are struggling and are planning to talk about these things with your priest. Have you ever talked to him before about your PTSD and the causes of your PTSD?

Yes and yes and I've made another phone to call to try to get a new therapist as things are very intense right now.

Th term 'breakthrough crisis' is used in the Survivor's Guide for adults who suffered childhood abuse. This crisis often becomes manifest through a flood of old memories, feelings and even physical sensations of the abuse people experienced. Do you believe these vivid dreams you are having are a sign of this new breakthrough crisis?

Yes as it is Spring Break so I get a few nights to myself and so its safe for these things to surface.

Often a breakthrough crisis is triggered by something. Based on several posts you have made, I think seeing your daughter as a teenager with her struggles, is definitely a trigger for you as you yourself have also said in other posts.

Today I saw how my parents failed my daughter and it healed me. I no longer expect them to be any different. I have moved on.

Do you feel like everything that is happening in your life, the situation with your daughter, the probate case and those intense dreams you are having, is leading you to new insights about the abuse you've experienced? Do you feel like you are breaking through to new and previously unexplored territory?

Yes I've come to a point of acceptance that this is how my parents and brother are there is nothing I can do to change it. I also see the dysfunction extends out into the family to my aunt and beyond that to my grandmother. I know that people hold me responsible for things I didn't initiate such as this probate case. I'm doing the best I can right now to batten down the hutches and hunker down.

I'm also having problems with my ex, he seems to be having a problem getting together and I have a huge phone bill this month due to my daughter getting her phone stolen which I am responsible for and I told him as much.