A good sign?

[steelwork]

Long mopey dream about hanging out as "friends" with ex and replacement. For almost the whole dream I feel sad and rejected. Wanting to get ex alone to talk about what happened. Then we are alone, and he wants to get back together,  I say yes but inside I'm like--- uh, no... .this guy is a creep.

I guess I just wanted to talk. I mean, I think it actually is how I feel: still attached but liking him less as a person.

[Caley]

And, I suspect like me, you miss the person that they portrayed themselves to be in the beginning?

I'm with you Steelwork ... I get it.

It will pass. x

[semantics]

I like this, that you remember your dream and its details. I don't know your story (just got here last night) but it looks like a good dream of progress for you. Stay tuned, and stay tuned in. Your brain is doing important work.

I was in therapy during the first months of final breakup. Well I was in therapy for about a year and a half leading up to it, too, but... .After the final breakup I went NC but kept having dreams of him confronting me, lingering near, beckoning and then rejecting. The one detail common to all those dreams was that in each circumstance, he approached me for whatever reason, and each time, I listened like a cat, then wordlessly began to cry, and walked away. It took a therapist to point that out to me -- that I kept walking away.

I cried about that, too. Because I never wanted to walk away from this man, not completely, not forever. But in each dream, no matter what he said, I knew nothing I could ever say or do would be ok and stick. I knew in the dreams that I could embrace him again, and maybe I even knew I was only dreaming, I'm not sure. But I knew I could embrace him and love and fall back into trust, and that it wouldn't be long until all the truly nightmarish dysfunction would start again, and for my vulnerability, hit me even worse, even more destructively.

I love him too much to let him keep doing that to me. I love him too much to allow him this one reliable receptacle of his hate and rage and projection. It's why I pulled away and went NC, and it's deep enough in me finally that it shows even in the dreams where I wish instead I could just rest easy in all the love I once felt from him.

Dreams can be so informative and healing. I hope this continues for you.