DD off all meds cold turkey, and . . . she's better

[DisneyMom]

My husband took our 16 year old BPD DD on a spring break trip to Mexico recently.

And, he took the opportunity, to just stop giving her the 4 meds she was on. Trazadone, Wellbutrin, Duloxetine, and Hydroxyzine. He did this without my knowledge or consent. However, we both hated the meds and have long suspected that they lost their effectiveness, if they ever had any, a long time ago (relapse issues since Sept while on the meds). My active plan was to weaning her down gradually and safely with her psych nurse. His belief that her meds were more harm than good was more intense than mine, so he wanted her off immediately. He follows a vegan, plant-based diet, and is very smart about health in general.

There was something in me that just knew he was going to do this. I could be furious with him, but I'm not. That was very risky to do, out of the country, but I understand his reason for doing it then. He is a great parent. He asked her often if she felt differently. She said she felt no different at all, except her hands didn't shake anymore.

It's now been 21 days meds free, and her mood has been great! She's more herself than I have seen in 3 YEARS. Damn mood stabilizers might stop the lows from getting too low, but they just may have blocked her good moods from being pleasant enough too. She's laughing more. She's present with our family more. I think she feels she excited to move on from past trauma and prove that she can handle herself. Something incredible has happened, I have my daughter back.

She still struggles with executive functioning and ADHD inattentive, really bad, but that was the same on the meds. School is still a big struggle. She still feels stifling job search anxiety. But it was the same ON all the meds too. Off meds, she's weathered a handful of anxious and stressful events without over-reacting and being able to calm herself down and move on. No self harm in almost 2 months.

Because she also has ADHD, and the obvious safety concerns, "I" was completely in charge of her meds administration for years, and now, I'm free of that! Also, I have LET GO and put her in charge of her own sleeping and waking. I don't wake her up for school or anything. Amazingly, for the past 2 weeks, she's been successful managing herself. I'm no longer a nag or human snooze alarm. I'm so happy about this, our relationship is even better.

So good for now, but still expecting many storms ahead.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Turkish]

This sounds very hopeful 

She also sounds like she is realizing that she has the strength and the power to manage herself. What have the professionals said, or have you told them?

I remember when my mother was put on Prozac for her depression (this was 1989). She got much worse, and took herself off of it. She's an RN. I have no medical training, so I can't offer anything more than what I saw.

Despite your predictions about coming storms (it's good to be cautious!), how have recent events changed the way in which you interact, differently than before?

[lbjnltx]

Great news!

The side affects of meds sometimes outweigh their benefit so it is good to be mindful of this. 

I tell my d "skills not pills".  Whether on meds or not, she has the skills to deal with anxiety attacks and uses these skills first and in conjunction with her medications.

Is your d still in therapy?  Having a clear mind is the best time to learn newer, and higher level coping skills.  Exploring alternatives to medication to address ADD/ADHD and executive function deficits can be beneficial as well.  My d participated in neurofeedback therapy that was beneficial.  Success is often found outside the box.

lbjnltx

[bpdmom1]

Yeah!  My BPD daughter is on Lamictal.  I'm hoping she can get to a point that she can go off of it.  I really struggle with the meds.  It just seems she needs something to help her be stable in order to be able to control her emotional outbursts.  Without the meds, I'm unsure she has the ability.  At one time she was on lithium and abilify.  We ended up dropping the abilify completely as she wasn't able to sleep well and later we replaced the Lithium with Lamictal.  So far no side effects from the Lamictal, but still unsure if it is really helping.

I really believe doctors over medicate and us as parents have to learn everything we can to help advocate for our kids.

[AnotherWon]

Same story over here.  uBPDs, 21 started on Wellbutrin at 17, which caused him to have a seizure, dislocating his shoulder.  Awful. Switched to another antidepressant and Seroquel. At rehab, they switched him to Lithium.  Before he came home for his shoulder surgery he quit cold turkey and I FREAKED OUT!  So because of my anxiety over all that, he saw a psychiatrist here and attempted them again, but ultimately didn't continue on them.  He felt no real difference and I need to believe him.  He said after he got to rehab that he NEVER remembered feeling as good in his life, but it could have been a lot of other factors, too.  Plus, I think he was using the Seroquel as a sleep aid only. He knows best, right?  Hopefully brain growth will contribute to more calmness for him. Plus, he's moved to a new place to "start over" and put some new skills into place.  I really hope it's the thing he needs!  But, like DisneyMom, I expect a few bumps along the way.