My ex would always expect some sort of dramatic response from me. For example if she started her push pull behavior and we would fight she would say to me are you crying? She pulled this all the time. It was like she wanted me to be a hot mess over what she would do. Another time i had had it with her and said I was upset what she was doing . I sent this thru a text. I then decided to change it from upset to confused. Well she gets back to me and says oh I thought u said you were upset? Aren't you upset? It was like she was hoping yet again I would go into these dramatic reactions for her pleasure. Anyone have this with their exs? And if so what type of behavior could this be? Oh forgot to mention my ex I strongly believe is a Narc as well. Always taking sexy pics of herself and putting them all over social media. Very sickening to say the least!
I'd simply say that all the rules were backwards or broken.
My ex would:
- Create outrageous lies (I'm talking full on make believe stories with vivid details- lies, stories, that were then told to me simply to "get a reaction".
- Once I was told the lie, my typical response was, as I usually handle shocking news, think about it. For an hour or a day. I tend not to immediately over-react.
- Ex would be utterly in shock when I came back wanting to discuss. Shocked I was bothered by it, shocked I was upset. This would in turn make her very defensive. Angry. Typically silent treatment would follow.
- Many times, if this makes any sense at all- her lies were lies. Case in point: I never cheated on you. Months later: I actually did cheat on you, I'm sorry I lied. :)ays later: I lied. I never cheated on you. I only lied to see how you would react. (Talk about a head spin).
Here are some things my ex told me- you tell me if this is attention seeking behavior:
- You got me pregnant. Over 1 year ago. I lost the Baby. Silent Treatment for 5 days. I lied. I was never pregnant.
- I never cheated on you. Nothing happened. Months later; I did cheat on you. Silent Treatment for a few days. I never cheated on you. I was just testing to see if you'd be upset.
- My parents are forcing me into an arranged marriage, a family which our family is friends with. They are worried you are taking too long. I went and met him. Spent the day with the family. We've signed an agreement to marry in 2017 should I still be single. Days later--- I ask: I want to see this contract you signed... . Her: There's no contract. We just agreed verbally. (Story Morphs). I confront her - IN FRONT OF her Mom and Dad. They look stunned... .as if (excuse me what?) She looks at me, just kind of laughs a little and says "It was a joke".
She told me in the end she was madly in love with me up until the last 6 months. But the lies, the stories, which destroyed our relationship and the trust I had, and caused me to in reaction do things I regret, date back to the begining of our relationship. It was ongoing through out, even when we were "good". It was sabotage from day one.
Lastly, if I said anything critical as in: "When you lie it hurts my feelings" - Response by her: "You HATE me!"
Anything I would say, that could be construed as a critical comment, even if it was constructive - was "I hate her".
In turn, anything I did, no matter how small meant she "Hated" me.
Its funny, before this ex, I don't think I've ever in my life, said I "hated" someone. At least not directly, to their face, and in a way that would hurt them.
Also, up until this ex; I cant honestly remember anyone telling me they hate me-- at least not to my face. Maybe when I was a child, but not that I can honestly remember.
The only two words my ex used to tell me how she felt about me were:
I love you or I hate you. Nothing in between.
This may be off topic a bit- but every thing/argument/fight we had- during the last 2 years - was for her "the last straw".
Anything negative that happened in the last 2 years resulted in me being told: I loved you, until yesterday, when you did X. Every little thing was the straw that broke the camels back.
