The Article "Surviving a Break Up..." seems it was written for me

[londons]

Wow... .I am not sure if I want to ask my follow up questions first, or send that article to all family members sharing in my pain.  It explains perfectly, from beginning to end, my dysfunctional relationship.  If you have not read it yet, please do.  "Surviving a Break Up When Your Partner Has Borderline Personality", by R. Skip Johnson.  Skip, you're my hero.  First Question:  What is your background and how were you able to so accurately describe the turmoil involved?  If this is too personal, I certainly understand.     Second Question:  If we are a trigger for bad feelings in our bpex, why would they try to entice us back for another try at it?  Is it because the obsession to "push/pull" trumps those bad feelings?       Comment:  It is true, my ex's behaviors and decisions worsened as the relationship went downhill, but... .the relationship went downhill BECAUSE his decisions worsened!  It was like a spinning wheel that could not be stopped... . I thought, perhaps he was taking more and more risks (fraudulent insurance claims, etc.) knowing I would not tolerate them, ask him to leave, and then HE could be the first to abandon the relationship; leaving me before I could leave him.       Mr. Johnson said, "... .leave you to feel confused and broken hearted."  Wow.  Two perfect descriptors.  I keep saying , if I would have read all this material before asking him to leave, we still might be together.  (When I asked him to leave our home in January, I wanted him to have time and space to RE GROUP, instead, he REPLACED, saying, "Well, what did you expect me to do?" )  OUCH.   I will continue to use this article as an anchor, even though some of it is so very hard to take in and to apply to my healing process.  Extremely accurate, but difficult to absorb none the less.  Thank you, R.S.J.    Thoughts?

[lbjnltx]

That is indeed a great article, as stated it is a compilation of several articles and was written to bring many of the puzzle pieces together in one place for members who struggle to wrap their heads around their relationship with a person that suffers with BPD or traits of the disorder. The article is based on the diagnostic criteria and how it can manifest in our relationships.

We are glad that it is such a benefit for you!

Here is a link to the article for those of us who haven't yet read it:

https://bpdfamily.com/pdfs/10_beliefs.pdf

I encourage you to read all the Lessons to the right of the page and to keep sorting through your feelings and figuring out how you can come out of this relationship a healthier you.

It takes time to absorb all the information, apply it to ourselves/our relationships and synthesize it all!

lbjnltx