Breaking up with BPD

[Depression = 72% of members]

First of all sry, English is not my first language.

I broke up last night. I didn't know so much about this personal disorder. My ex-girlfriend and I had been in a long distance relationship for 8 months. she told me at first that she has BPD but I thought it is controlled. also, she uses pills. after 8 months I decided to break up with her (she started first), anyway, I told her that it's hard for me to handle all of this from the distance. we have 5 hours difference also our native languages are different but we speak English together. Anyway, I thought that if goes further it will be harder because we can't travel now. After break up and very intense hours she send me a pic of her cut arm and told me that her mother is coming and they want to go to a hospital. Also, her friend was there. at the night, her friend texted me that she had overdosed and she is unconscious. I was worried so much and called but no answer, it was so much stress on me until morning and at noon she texted me this "she is dead" and she started to tell me that it was my fault. I was shocked and I didn't know what to do she didn't answer me. I thought that she was lying but I was so shocked and nervous. I called my psychoanalyst (I am under his treatment for 5 years)he gave me another appointment. I was feeling horrible. And suddenly hours later she called me. She was my gf! All of those things was her and her friend's games! she was begging me to stay! I was so shocked and hurt so much. I should protect myself. pls give me any advice you can. I don't want that she plays dangerous games and hurt herself! I want best thing for both of us

[nmindesign]

First of all sry, English is not my first language.

I broke up last night. I didn't know so much about this personal disorder. My ex-girlfriend and I had been in a long distance relationship for 8 months. she told me at first that she has BPD but I thought it is controlled. also, she uses pills. after 8 months I decided to break up with her (she started first), anyway, I told her that it's hard for me to handle all of this from the distance. we have 5 hours difference also our native languages are different but we speak English together. Anyway, I thought that if goes further it will be harder because we can't travel now. After break up and very intense hours she send me a pic of her cut arm and told me that her mother is coming and they want to go to a hospital. Also, her friend was there. at the night, her friend texted me that she had overdosed and she is unconscious. I was worried so much and called but no answer, it was so much stress on me until morning and at noon she texted me this "she is dead" and she started to tell me that it was my fault. I was shocked and I didn't know what to do she didn't answer me. I thought that she was lying but I was so shocked and nervous. I called my psychoanalyst (I am under his treatment for 5 years)he gave me another appointment. I was feeling horrible. And suddenly hours later she called me. She was my gf! All of those things was her and her friend's games! she was begging me to stay! I was so shocked and hurt so much. I should protect myself. pls give me any advice you can. I don't want that she plays dangerous games and hurt herself! I want best thing for both of us

[Heldfast]

WOW. May I ask, why do you want to be with someone who does these things, blames them on you, then tells you it was all a game? That person is a monster asking for you to be their pet. I'd tell her I'm not interested in participating any longer, block her on social and personal media, and move on with my life.

[Hadlee]

Oh my goodness.  Reading that gave me shivers.  I would stay RIGHT AWAY from her.  What a horror story.

Take care of yourself

[blackbirdsong]

Really, when will I reach a limit so that nothing on these boards won't suprise me.

Jesus... . 

You didn't state how old are you and your exGF. I suppose she is young because this is a horror story even for BPD context.

I can only imagine how do you feel, we are all here for you. I believe you are still confused because in your heart you still have feelings for her but your gut and mind tell you to run.

You need to understand that she is very ill and things she did are very manipulative, hurtful and even dangerous. She has a big problem but you also need to know that you cannot help her. You cannot convince her with your love that she needs help, she needs to realize this by herself. I strongly suggest that you go NC and take care of yourself now. 

Now you are the priority, you can only help yourself, no matter what your heart tells you. You also went through really big trauma, considering your relationship and its end and it would be good if you could also find a proffesional help and talk about this. From my own experience, I can tell you that it can only help... .

Take care... .

[JerryRG]

Hello nmindesign

My exBPDgf overdosed once inside my apartment and once again outside the back door. Everytime I would get tired of her crazy and we would break up she would threaten suicide. I remember early on in our relationship and after the 2 actual overdoses her sister text me saying my ex was indeed dead. I was very afraid for my ex but it turns out they were both lying.

My exgf cut herself as well, and took drugs to deal with her stress.

This happend many other times and last year same thing, her sister was back in town staying with my exgf and told me my exgf was "down" dead. Another lie but I knew at this point it was just a cruel childish manipulation.

After that, I believe around last fall I got a text from my exgf saying she was at a lake somewhere and by the time the police found her she would be dead. She had my son with her at the time. Eventually I stopped listening to her but it was very stressful non the less because we have to treat threats as serious.

All in all I got so many text and threats I cannot remember them all.

These threats and lies were blatant demonstrations of disrespect to the people who care about the pwBPD, if pwBPD lie about this won't they lie about anything and everything?

You are not alone, and as I type this text I am wondering why I ever stayed around my ex for more than 5 minutes. After we had our child I stayed to protect them both from her.

Again this speaks of my dysfunction and I'm working to make my life better.

I hope you can stay away from this person and realize she's disordered and nothing and I mean nothing you can do to help her and staying involved in her life could cost you more than you can now imagine.

These people are not wired like us so we cannot help them. Someone told me that the leading researchers in psychology cannot figure them out so what could we do that would make the slightest bit of difference.

4 years of this for me and now my exgf is telling people I asulting her when she was unconscious.

IT NEVER ENDS UNTIL WE END IT!

Stay strong, stay away