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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: finally hit numb again after a really intense week plus three days  (Read 354 times)
voltclimb

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 16


« on: April 26, 2016, 08:45:14 PM »

Summary of previous thread: I just got out of a five day encounter with a probably-borderline-but-who-really-knows who painted me solidly white for three days, was kind of in the middle for two days, and then abruptly cut contact, which triggered me pretty hard and I spent three days recovering and feeling a bunch of stuff.

"In the middle" actually gave me pause now that I wrote it... what's funny is that she said she went through DBT, but it was for complex trauma, which overlaps with BPD but is not the same thing... anyway... it doesn't matter now.

I made a decision today to cut her off for good.

I've hit my usual "numb and slightly anxious" that I get after being able to feel a lot of feelings for a while (I have complex trauma myself and have been doing EMDR for it for a couple years).  Maybe a 2 out of 10 on intensity of emotion--I can feel it, but I have to focus.  The rest is almost pure moderate to mild anxiety.

I miss my feelings, but I know they're still there and I am thankful for the respite from the intense shame and sadness.  I captured a lot of journal entries and recordings during the process and I have some new insight into myself.  Ahh... not entirely numb, as I said, I have a little sadness now...

I hope that I can move towards better boundaries and better relationships.
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