pwBPD trashing the things you cherished the most

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My ex had a habit of picking the things I adored the most and trashing/devaluing them completely. It could be a favorite author, friend, video game, celebrity, exercise regime, book, or hobby (harmless stuff). The conversation would go "You are worthless/an idiot for liking __________. I absolutely hate it! Stop wasting your time on it and do something more productive".

(Oh, he would spend hours talking about stuff he loved to do. He does have some great hobbies. However, if I delayed replying to his message about his interests, he would turn into an absolute raging monster.) He would be VERY supportive about certain things, but I was always wary. Who knows when he would start hating THAT?  

I stopped spending time on some of those interests because I was afraid of his temper.   I continued pursuing others, but just stopped talking to him about it. For a few cherished hobbies, I worked up the guts to tell him that I will continue pursuing them no matter what he thinks. He would get all sulky and distant whenever he got to know that I was spending time on doing something 'unproductive', in his words.

I am curious to know if any of you have faced similar situations, because it seems INSANE!

[sunflowerpanda]

My ex had a habit of picking the things I adored the most and trashing/devaluing them completely. It could be a favorite author, friend, video game, celebrity, exercise regime, book, or hobby (harmless stuff). The conversation would go "You are worthless/an idiot for liking __________. I absolutely hate it! Stop wasting your time on it and do something more productive".

(Oh, he would spend hours talking about stuff he loved to do. He does have some great hobbies. However, if I delayed replying to his message about his interests, he would turn into an absolute raging monster.) He would be VERY supportive about certain things, but I was always wary. Who knows when he would start hating THAT?  

I stopped spending time on some of those interests because I was afraid of his temper.   I continued pursuing others, but just stopped talking to him about it. For a few cherished hobbies, I worked up the guts to tell him that I will continue pursuing them no matter what he thinks. He would get all sulky and distant whenever he got to know that I was spending time on doing something 'unproductive', in his words.

I am curious to know if any of you have faced similar situations, because it seems INSANE!

[SummerStorm]

My BPD friend has done this a few times.  A lot of times it's projection, really.  She went on this rant about how I like fantasy literature and movies and use them as a way to escape from dealing with my problems.  But SHE is the one who is obsessed (completely) with Pokemon, plays video games all the time, has this big dream of Matt Smith from Doctor Who showing up on her doorstep and proposing to her, etc.  Yes, I am a fantasy genre fan, but I have many, many other hobbies and certainly don't use my love of fantasy to escape my problems.  She's the one who does that.

I love my cats, and she would make fun of them.  I'm sure that was jealousy, more than anything.

She also trashed a lot of the music I listen to, but then she would just as quickly send me a link to an article about one of my favorite singers. 

It's all just BPD craziness. 

[Dhand77]

I remember wax poetically about comic books which I'm really passionate about. She would stare at me with dreamy eyes every time I'd explain something to her. During our break up, she consistently used the very thing that made her idealize me, against me. My passion about comic books.

Guess what? I still love em, and I don't care what she said. At least I'm passionate about something other than drama and being miserable. Which I'm pretty sure we're the ONLY things she was passionate about.

[LilMe]

My uBPD trashed my children, family, and friends constantly.  Talked badly about them to me and others and would not allow me to see or talk to them.  Now after I have left, he won't let me have any of my belongings so he let my fish and plants die and just told me my dog ran off 3 weeks ago.  He knows I have a hard time even weeding I hate it so bad when a plant dies.  And my dog - I am heartbroken.  It is hard to imagine how anyone can be so cruel.

[adventurer]

My wife trashes my enjoyment of escapist mystery thriller novels.  She resents the time I spend away from her reading and if I call her out about something that upsets me, she asks what the plot of the latest books is, it must be that which is putting me in distressed mood, not her actions.  She won't watch some tv show I want too like True Detective because they are too violent for her, supposedly.  But she is constantly watching Law and Order and Criminal Minds, which are pretty darn intense.  Ah well... .