Hi placebicstar,
i've been here a while, i usually come here when my pwBPD has a bad episode! i try to avoid making lots of posts
here is part of your problem. This stuff is overwhelming and keeping it in is not helping. The board is a good place to work through it.
i'm not sure if this is the right thread though, sorry!
By definition it is. Use threads to organize your posts and people who want to read and answer will focus on those. And if there is nobody there is still you who organizes thoughts and writes and reads. Don't underestimate the healing power of your own writing! See also my signature

but ive been having a really bad mental state lately, and so have they, unfortunately this time our bad moods are overlapping and making us both feel really gross and unhappy, i've vented to them and they to me and we've kinda kept distance to avoid being mean or hurting each other however i'm still having a bad night and so are they,
When feeling ready use the distance to do some little stuff for yourself.
i'm trying to stay positive for them but i think i just really need words of encouragement right now. :'(
How familiar are you with validation? Your overwhelming negative emotions need acknowledgement. The situation is terrible and not surprisingly you are desperate. Other is less bad situations have felt similar. What you are going through is normal. There is no happy pill. This struggle will go on for some time. There is light at the end of the tunnel but you will muddle through a fair bit of mess for a while.
When depressed and provided you have a little, little time helping others in need often helps yourself. Use a moment to greet a new member, carefully read their post and provide feedback. Be positive but don't sugar coat it. New members provide a good opportunity to build validation skills for negative emotions. These help you dealing with negativity around you and within yourself by building self validation skills.
The board can provide short term help, some virtual hugs in need. To transform the situation you needs skills. Skills are build by practice, practice and practice. The board offers opportunity there too.
Don't be afraid posting, you are doing good
