Last piece to let go

[willtimeheal]

I have been NC with my unexBPDgf for almost 2 years. My life has taken off. I have accomplished things I never would have if I was still with her, my career is booming, friendships booming, and I met someone new. I took a year and a half off from dating just to work on myself and i worked hard in therapy and I really like who I am now. The one piece I can't figure out and i still ask myself is why couldn't she be happy with me?  I known it has nothing to do with me but I struggle with this. She is with my replacement and everything "looks" so great. But I guess that is how we always "looked."  But I still struggle with that piece. Why couldn't she be happy with me? 

[SoMadSoSad]

In my case my ex was just infatuated with me and when she got with my replacement I guess either he taught her how to love or they just fell in love naturally

[heartandwhole]

Why couldn't she be happy with me? 

Because it was your path to become the person you are today, not hers. Her path is different, and she doesn't "match" with you anymore. I believe that we attract people into our lives to learn and grow—you've done that with your ex., and your purpose for being together has been fulfilled.

If she seems happy with her new partner, be happy for her if you can. BPD is such a difficult hand to be dealt, any pause in the suffering is a blessing, right? And no one can get inside the heads and hearts of anyone else. Appearances never tell the whole story, BPD or not.

Your job is to enjoy the fruits of your hard work and keep growing in joy, willtimeheal. Congrats  on building a new life and thriving!

heartandwhole

[willtimeheal]

Why couldn't she be happy with me? 

Because it was your path to become the person you are today, not hers. Her path is different, and she doesn't "match" with you anymore. I believe that we attract people into our lives to learn and grow—you've done that with your ex., and your purpose for being together has been fulfilled.

If she seems happy with her new partner, be happy for her if you can. BPD is such a difficult hand to be dealt, any pause in the suffering is a blessing, right? And no one can get inside the heads and hearts of anyone else. Appearances never tell the whole story, BPD or not.

Your job is to enjoy the fruits of your hard work and keep growing in joy, willtimeheal. Congrats  on building a new life and thriving!

heartandwhole

Thanks heart. As much as I have grown and as much as I like who I am now... .I still miss her. I miss her kids. That is the part I miss. I miss being a family and  it hurts to know someone else is playing that part... .I miss having the kids in my life.