Her Artwork Revealed Something Interesting.

[HighDingyDoo7]

     Hello, everyone.

     I am quite new to this situation (see previous post) so didn't know virtually anything about BPD until the past week or so.

     I'm not sure if much has been done about BPD and artwork, but it's an interesting topic that I'd like to learn more about. Seeing that art is often a way to 'display emotions' or create surreal/ imaginary situations, perhaps it could shed considerable light on the ways in which BPD people think and feel.

     I am still grieving deeply over an abrupt separation from my ex BPDgf.

     One thing that I admired about her was a unusual, almost mysterious, sense of style and artistic talent. She had no formal art training, but her work stood out and had a style all its own. It included stuffed animals, fashion accessories, modeling portraits and sketches.

     The sketches are now of great interest to me, looking back on the relationship.

     She usually made them on colored construction paper with markers and crayons, as a way to relax and unwind before bed. I used to draw with her. It was a fun way to bond and not take the work too seriously.

     Many of the drawings were simplistic, abstract portraits of people.

     Several weeks ago, before the final meltdown, she made an interesting doodle of the two of us standing together. I found it very sweet and endearing, but now that I look closer, there are some interesting characteristics.

     'She' is fully 'finished', fairly detailed, and drawn in full color. 'I' am drawn more crudely (almost in an entirely different style, by a completely different artist), with only my most basic features (hair and glasses) highlighted. My torso is almost nonexistent. The only color comes from the outlines, and nothing is 'filled in.'

     The drawing has become a heart-wrenching symbol for me. Although sketched with simple materials in a short amount of time, it has a very profound feel to it that sums up these types of relationships in general. At first glance, we are standing smiling side by side, very much in love. It's the closer inspection that reveals other details and it took me until now to notice.

     

[troisette]

You make an interesting point DingyDoo. I think it's difficult to hide one's persona and feelings in art and other creative design fields. In my experience they peep through the mask that a BPD is trying to maintain.

My ex went to art school and has spent a lifetime in creative works. His portraiture, although competent, is soulless. The portraits look like the sitters but they are dead, lacking insight of the sitter's personality. Like painting by numbers. His commercial graphic work is pedestrian and he once told me that he does as little work as possible for his fee, you can sense the lack of interest although he enjoys presenting himself as a creative.

His home is like a set, a stage for him to perform. When lit it looks lovely but during the day it looks dead and flat. I think of him as a child actor reading from an adult script and his works and home reflect this. For him, it's about presenting a false persona, his mask, but it doesn't hide his inner emptiness.

I'm not sure if any of this resonates with you but your comment about outline and nothing filled in sounds empty. It took me a while to understand how my ex used his creativity because he is competent and I didn't see beyond the mask and the narcissistic use he put his talent to. I hope this gives further cause for thought for you.  

[Ulysses]

I think this is an interesting question.

I believe artwork can reveal inner struggles.  My exH (NPD/BPD) is a writer.  It's a hobby that earns him a modest 2nd income.  One story involved a character much like him (same profession, same car, same commute, etc.), full of rage and wrath, shooting co-workers, and eventually himself.  

Another story, a pornographic story that he wrote and published with an affair partner, had a character in it that was like reading about a distorted version of myself.  That character's husband was, of course, trapped in a gruesome marriage and found true love with another, as they fought against the brutal regime or something.

One book he wrote, while he was in counseling, had a character who is a therapist, who murdered people.

He draws as well, but I don't recall that artwork being such a mirror. 

His portraiture, although competent, is soulless. The portraits look like the sitters but they are dead, lacking insight of the sitter's personality. Like painting by numbers. His commercial graphic work is pedestrian and he once told me that he does as little work as possible for his fee, you can sense the lack of interest although he enjoys presenting himself as a creative.

Yes - this is how I would describe the characters in the books he writes.  Not much character development.  They all seem rather 2-dimensional.  No depth. 

[schwing]

     Several weeks ago, before the final meltdown, she made an interesting doodle of the two of us standing together. I found it very sweet and endearing, but now that I look closer, there are some interesting characteristics.

     'She' is fully 'finished', fairly detailed, and drawn in full color. 'I' am drawn more crudely (almost in an entirely different style, by a completely different artist), with only my most basic features (hair and glasses) highlighted. My torso is almost nonexistent. The only color comes from the outlines, and nothing is 'filled in.'

     The drawing has become a heart-wrenching symbol for me. Although sketched with simple materials in a short amount of time, it has a very profound feel to it that sums up these types of relationships in general. At first glance, we are standing smiling side by side, very much in love. It's the closer inspection that reveals other details and it took me until now to notice.  

How do you interpret her sketch?

I would say that she drew herself in a manner that hid her insecurity.  She is afraid of being incomplete, or being in-part and not a whole person.  All the things that she is afraid of seeing in herself, she had instead projected them onto her depiction of you: "drawn more crudely", "... .in an entirely different style... ." by someone else.